Frankly, I Don't Know Why Merc and Ram Won't Bring the E-Class SW and Rampage to the US

When you look at the novelties for this past week, there are very few that are worth mentioning if you live in America and you are not an avid fan of everything coming from Toyota and its namesake brand or the luxury division Lexus. In Europe, for example, there was the Renault Rafale coupe-SUV that solidified my recent thoughts that the French automaker is the next Audi-style brand that aims to bore everyone to death with clone designs that are self-referential and totally forgettable – just like many Hollywood franchises, these days. Oh, wait, I got lost in translation; I was talking about Old Continent novelties.

Well, aside from that French car that isn't chic anymore, the only other noteworthy event was the introduction of the facelifted 2024 Land Rover Range Rover Evoque – a refresh that's so minor on the outside (inside, there's a giant, curved 11.4-inch touchscreen that's new and a fresh center console) that it will make everyone take a magnifier to spot the changes. We can save you some frustrations; JLR's off-road brand changed the styling of the grille's mesh, nailed a new-gen LED Pixel technology for the headlights, and some new finishes for the alloy wheels! Yep, that was all.

So, we move to Japan, where the novelties are abundant and rampant for such a tiny and expensive market. For starters, GM Japan allowed RHD Chevy Corvette fans to rejoice at the sight of a couple of new special editions. Our jaws then dropped not at the thought of just 70 units being available but rather when seeing MSRPs that will make the Z06 seem like the best buy! Oh, wait, there was also a new minivan from Toyota, or two – I can't make up my mind if we should treat the all-new Alphard and Vellfire MPVs as the same or label them as an excellently quirky duo. Or trio, given that they're also twinned with the premium Lexus LM.

And so, we return to America, where the novelties this week are all about special editions – and nothing else. There's a 2024 MINI Joch Cooper Works 1TO6 limited series that's only noteworthy because of how stupid BMW and MINI continue to be when thinking that anyone sane would pony up $45,300 (plus 995 Benjamins for the destination charge) for a three-door hot hatchback that's smaller yet costlier than a record-breaking Honda Civic Type R (FL5). That is when pigs fly on their own power – I saw the creatures taken for a joyride in planes, and I'm not falling for the trap. On the other hand, the Gazoo Racing folks are even cooler now that they have just unveiled a triumvirate of special editions for the 2024 model year – Blue Flame GR Corolla Circuit, GR86 Trueno, and GR Supra 45th Anniversary.

Alas, I am afraid to crack any wise thoughts or unruly jokes about them because Toyota refrained from revealing the potential damage to the bank account for any of them. And so, we arrive at the two novelties of the week that are not for America, yet I really think they should hit nationwide dealerships as quickly as possible. Those would be the 2024 Mercedes-Benz E-Class Estate and the 2024 Ram Rampage compact unibody pickup truck. First of all, the German automaker does sell an E-Class station wagon in America, but it is only the E 450 4Matic All-Terrain Wagon from the W213 series – yours for no less than $71,250 and some change (destination and other fees).

The same will likely happen with the current next-gen model; they will only offer the All-Terrain model in the US to try and stay competitive with the ongoing assault of crossovers and SUVs. But I feel that the E-Class Wagon could stand on its own even without a revised ride height and some additional body cladding. Unlike the E-Class sedan, the Estate fits perfectly with the new design and brings the same technology in a more spacious package. What is not to like about that?

Secondly, I simply fell head over heels for the Ram Rampage compact unibody pickup truck. It has a distinctively cool name and great design that takes from the full-size 1500 models only the best traits and makes it feel like it's up for a 2024 Tacoma and Ranger Raptor fight when actually we are dealing with something that's just as big as the Ford Maverick. And it would undoubtedly give the electrified Blue Oval and the stylish Hyundai Santa Cruz the fight of their lives if brought to the United States with the 2.0-liter Hurricane turbo mill with 268 horsepower and 295 lb-ft (400 Nm) of torque.

The only problem is that even when built in Brazil, it's still a costly affair – it starts from almost $48k for the Rebel version with the gasoline mill. Oh, what a conundrum!