10 Crazy Hearses We're "Dying" To Ride In, From Fast to Luxurious to Simply Bonkers

Be it a car accident, disease, old age, or anything in between, every single one among us will be offered the opportunity to have a drink with the late Bon Scott, Malcolm Young, and Colin Burgess at the same table. It's widely believed that bourbon tastes better on the other side, but to satisfy this curiosity, one has to be laid to rest first.

Regardless of religion, internment is the most popular final disposition of all. The dearly departed are usually transported to their place of rest by funeral vehicles. Historically based on regular cars or vans (think Mercedes-Benz E-Class and Sprinter), hearses can also be very special.

Or borderline strange, or a bit of both. Even though we're six months away from the season for all things spooky, we took the liberty of "digging up" a list of 10 hearses that stand out in the crowd. It should be noted that all 10 are real rather than concepts or design studies, meaning they have been used or continue to be used for transporting the dead.

Chevrolet Camaro hearse

General Motors premiered the Chevrolet Camaro in 1966 with hopes of stealing customers away from the Ford Mustang. The question is, why Camaro and not a natural predator of the free-roaming horse descended from Colonial Spanish horses brought to the Americas by the Spanish conquistadors? Codenamed Panther, the pony car from General Motors would be designated Camaro in June 1966. Back then, Chevrolet general manager Pete Estes made it clear that Camaro stands for a "small, vicious animal that eats Mustangs."

Every member of the press questioned that ludicrous definition, but Camaro sounded right, and the media liked it. Camaro is likely derived from the French word camarade that gave us the English word comrade. Chilean businessman and massive car nut Ivan Martinez runs a funeral service in the southernmost country in the world, with said funeral service offering a few V8-powered Camaros from the sixth generation. Unfortunately, it's the final gen with internal combustion.

Nobody knows for certain if there is a heaven, a hell, or something else waiting for us after breathing our last breath. Similarly, there is much debate in regard to the Camaro's replacement. A number of reports indicate a zero-emission sedan, whereas certain peeps believe that GM will refashion the Camaro in the form of an electric SUV. Speaking of which, let's talk about Ford Motor Company.

Ford Mustang Mach-E hearse

Technically related to the Escape compact crossover instead of the coupe- or convertible-bodied Mustang, the Mach-E shouldn't have been named as such. The Dearborn-based automaker originally tested the waters by teasing the Mach 1 moniker. It was a big mistake, for tons of Mustang and car enthusiasts protested against it.

Manufactured in Mexico and China rather than Michigan, the Mustang Mach-E is more than meets the eye. From the standpoint of exterior styling, for example, it's credited to Jason Castriota of SSC Tuatara, Maserati GranTurismo, and Ferrari 599 fame. Mustang Mach-E also happens to be stupidly quick in a straight line, albeit full power can be experienced five seconds at a time.

While searching for interesting hearses, yours truly came across a British company dubbed Coleman Milne. With more than six decades of experience in the business of designing hearses, it should come as no surprise that Coleman Milne modified the Mach-E into a funeral car. What's more, the Westhoughton-based firm also created a Mach-E limo with six doors (make that seven with the hatch-style tailgate) and seating for seven.

Subaru World Rally Team-style Impreza hearse

In production since 1992, the Impreza replaced the Leone in Subaru's lineup. The sixth generation comes exclusively as a hatchback, and there are no plans of giving it the WRX treatment anytime soon. The Japanese automaker won't roll out an STI version of the WRX sedan either. How the mighty have fallen, huh? Back in the olden days, Impreza became a household name thanks to Subaru WRT and rally drivers such as the late Colin McRae.

Taking inspiration from the rally car's blue and green livery, the rally car-themed Impreza fielded by Final Journey Funeral Cars is equally strange and fantastic. Strange because there's no divider between the deceased and driver, and fantastic because of the four-cylinder turbocharged boxer engine's trademark sound at low engine speeds. Based in the Midlands, the folks at Final Journey Funeral Cars also have a MINI Clubman hearse.

The Scooby is the superior choice, though. One can only imagine power sliding into the cemetery, pulling up at the designated spot in a cloud of dust, gravel, and tire smoke. Even though the MINI's head gasket doesn't blow as often as those of a Blobeye's boxer engine, the Clubman plays second fiddle to this fine machine from the mid-2000s.

Porsche Panamera gullwing-style hearse

Durban in South Africa is the home of Pinetown Funeral Services, which operates a fleet of approximately 40 funeral vehicles. Of said total, a gullwing-style Panamera painted in white eclipses all other Pinetown Funeral Services hearses. Not only does it feature trick side doors, but its extra-long wheelbase adds to the visual drama. Based on photos uploaded on the company's website and social media, the fleet also includes a traditional hearse-bodied Panamera and one that appears to be completely stock.

All three are pre-facelift cars from the first gen. The mid-cycle refresh launched in April 2013 at Auto Shanghai with more horses across the board, including for the Audi-developed V6 turbo diesel (300 ps instead of the original 250 ps, meaning 246 and 296 ponies). Due to poor demand for the aforementioned V6 turbo diesel, the second-generation Panamera didn't offer a diesel engine.

Zuffenhausen's favorite son further discontinued the Panamera Sport Turismo shooting brake variant in 2023 with the introduction of the third generation. The most exciting Porsche Panamera on sale today is a twin-turbo V8 plug-in hybrid with 671 horses and 686 pound-feet (930 Nm) on tap. Considering that Porsche offers an electrified Cayenne with more than 700 horsepower to its name, it's only a matter of time until the third-generation Panamera crosses the 700-horse mark as well.

Maserati Ghibli hearse

Named after the Libyan Arabic word for a wind, Ghibli launched in 1967 with Giorgetto Giugiaro styling. The 2+2 coupe would be joined by a convertible in 1969, the year the House of the Trident introduced the more powerful SS. As opposed to 310 ps or 306 horsepower for the 4.7-liter V8 of the Ghibli, the Ghibli SS rocks 4.9 liters and 335 metric horsepower/330 mechanical ones.

When Alejandro de Tomaso was running the show, Ghibli returned with twin-turbo V6 muscle. Maserati's third and final Ghibli was revealed in 2013, with a choice of V6 engines. Over the years, the mid-size luxury sedan would receive a twin-turbo V8 and – get this – a 2.0-liter turbocharged I4 developed by Fiat Chrysler for the Alfa Romeo Giulia, Stelvio, and the JL-series Jeep Wrangler.

Biemme Special Cars of Italy is much obliged to convert the least powerful Ghibli available today into a hearse with carbon-fiber garnish on the door cards and center console. 6.4 meters or 252 inches fore to aft, the hybridized funeral vehicle sports a shatterproof divider and two foldable rear seats. Not long now, the Italian company will have to find another Italian exotic for hearse conversions because the Maserati Ghibli will be retired by the end of 2024. There's no successor to speak of, yet Maserati S.p.A. did confirm an electric Levante for 2027 and an electric Quattroporte for 2028.

Toyota Century Miyagata-style hearse

There is Toyota, there's the Lexus division, and then there's Century. Although it's sold under the Toyota brand, Century is the most luxurious line of vehicles produced by Japan's most successful automaker. Romanized as Senchuri, the full-size luxury sedan was joined by a full-size luxury crossover in 2023 for the 2024 model year. The Century SUV is closely related to the Lexus TX, which is best described as a fancier Toyota Grand Highlander.

The third-generation Century sedan isn't as special as its predecessors either, for the G60 is underpinned by the Toyota N platform of the Lexus LS 600h. Prior to the G60's debut, the Toyota Century was its own thing, with the second generation standing out as the most interesting Century of the lot due to a free-breathing V12. The 1GZ-FE and CNG-capable 1GZ-FNE were exclusive to the Century from 1997 through 2017.

Be that as it may, the V8-powered first generation is pretty special in its own right. Take, for instance, this G40-series Century hearse. In Japan, this style of hearse is referred to as Miyagata due to the rear compartment resembling a Shinto shrine. Forget convertible Astons and high-revving Fezzas because nothing will turn more heads at Cars & Coffee than a Miyagata hearse based on a rare luxobarge built with utmost attention to detail.

Bentley Flying Spur hearse

Established in 1881, W. Uden & Sons Family Funeral Directors can make one's final journey exceptional by means of an ultra-luxury hearse. The Continental Flying Spur and subsequent Flying Spur have always lived in the shadow of the Rolls-Royce Phantom, but if you're the type to look at the glass half full, then you are aware which of these sedans is better from the driver's perspective.

The Flying Spur hearse operated by W. Uden & Sons Family is plated UDN 1. According to the DVLA's database, UDN 1 was registered in October 2022. The United Kingdom's Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency further lists 3,996 cubes instead of 5,952 cubic centimeters, meaning that it's powered by the Audi-Porsche 4.0L twin-turbo V8 of the 2024 Porsche Panamera Turbo and plenty other vehicles from the VW Group.

The 6.0L twin-turbo W12 may be associated with the Crewe-based automaker, but in truth, it was developed by Audi. Lest we forget, the A8 L received the so-called EA398 engine back in 2001. Two years later, the Continental GT would be launched with a more powerful version of the EA398. Due to fuel economy and emission regulations, the Volkswagen Group's W12 will be discontinued in April 2024 for the Audi-Porsche 4.0L twin-turbo V8 with plug-in hybrid assistance.

Suzuki Hayabusa GSX1300R sidecar hearse

W. Uden & Sons Family Funeral Directors also caters to motorcyclists with a sidecar hearse attached to a Hayabusa. Unconventional, for sure, but it's the second-fastest hearse of the 10 we have selected for this cover story. The motorcycle is black, the rider's protective gear is black, and – of course – the sidecar is gloss black as well.

Between 1999 and 2000, the GSX1300R was rated at 303 to 312 kilometers per hour (188 to 194 miles per hour). Come 2001, top speed was limited to 299 clicks or 186 miles per hour. By comparison, the Bentley Flying Flur with the V8 engine will continue accelerating until the speedometer indicates 318 clocks or 198 miles per hour.

Considering the peak horsepower of the Hayabusa's four-cylinder lump in relation to the sidecar hearse's weight and the motorcycle's weight, there is no denying that the Bentley Flying Spur hearse is the faster of the two funeral vehicles. To 60 miles per hour (97 kilometers per hour), on the other hand, the Hayabusa should have the edge over the Bentley.

Rolls-Royce Ghost hearse

Remember Biemme Special Cars? The Italian company revealed the Ghoster in November 2023, a boujee hearse based on the first-generation Ghost. It's hard to understand why Biemme Special Cars didn't use a second-generation Ghost, but in any case, bear in mind that both of them use the largest version of the N74 twin-turbocharged V12. The BMW-developed engine will be retired by the end of the decade in favor of electric motors, with Rolls-Royce aiming to become a fully electric marque.

The Ghoster alludes to the world of superyachts due to fine leather upholstery, superb-looking wood veneer, as well as mirror-finish stainless steel and aluminum bits. Typical of a Roller, this fellow is equipped with 18 speakers totaling 1,300 watts. But in stark contrast to Ali G's yellow Renault 5, the Ghoster adds 100 additional kilograms (220 extra pounds) of sound insulation. Over the stock Ghost, that is, which is a whisper-quiet vehicle from the outset.

The longer wheelbase of the Ghoster wouldn't have been possible without a purpose-built tubular frame structure, custom steel panels, and similarly custom rear side windows. It's hard to estimate how much this gentle giant weighs, but given the massive torque of the N74 engine, zero to 60 should be doable in the high 5s or low 6-second range. Rolls-Royce's historical disinterest in straight-line performance was tossed aside for the somewhat polarizing Spectre, which requires 4.4 seconds to accelerate to 60 mph.

GKN Sankey FV432 hearse

And now for the big one. Literally! In service with the Ukrainian Army as the result of an unprovoked invasion masterminded by a spiteful midget with a superiority complex and a flawed understanding of sociopolitical matters, FV432 is a British armored personnel carrier. Made by GKN Sankey through 1971 and subsequently upgraded to Mark 3 spec by the peeps at BAE Systems in the mid-2000s, the FV432 is similar in many respects to the American FMC M113 and the Swedish Army's Hagglund & Soner Pbv 302.

Tipping the scales at nearly 15.3 tons (around 33,730 pounds), the FV432 is operated by a crew of two (driver and commander). Good for a not-so-dizzying 52 kilometers per hour (32 miles per hour), this military vehicle accommodates up to 10 troops. One particular example of the breed was converted to the mother and father of hearses by Nick Mead of Tanks-A-Lot Ltd., a company specializing in tank driving experiences. A few high-profile British publications refer to the FV432 hearse as being a tank rather than an armored personnel carrier.

The heaviest funeral vehicle to make our list was converted to a hearse in the span of six months and with a budget of 3,000 pounds sterling. Highlight mods include black paint, armored glass, and the interior of a four-wheeled hearse. Head sped up the build when Graham Collins – his tank driving instructor – was diagnosed with a severe form of cancer. Collins succumbed at the ripe old age of 70 years, and against all odds, Head finished the FV432 hearse in the nick of time. "I hope I did the old boy proud," he told the Mirror in October 2015.