BMW M2 Family Boys Go to a Drag Strip Looking for a Fight; 'Naughty' Gets Taught a Lesson

In fact, BMW had been hatching the idea of a small performance car since the seventies – does anyone remember the 2002 turbo? Furthermore, the M3 – launched in the second part of the 80s – established a reputation that has only grown over the decades.

Things took a turn for the (confusing) better when the German auto giant decided to divide the M3 in two – a separation made on door headcount grounds that saw the appearance of the M3 and M4. Then the M2 joined the party, and it wasn’t long before the small model borrowed some of its bigger brothers’ mechanical habits.

When the M2 evolved into its Competition and CS variants, it received the M3 engine. Many people asked if there would be a track big enough on Planet Piston for these two to live happily ever after within the same universe.

As it turns out, the Ms managed to make it work, and it wasn’t long before the M2 family made a track name for itself. Naturally, in 2022, the second generation of the BMW M2 came out, which only emphasized the Germans’ endorsement of the sporty compacts.

However, before the Most powerful letter of the alphabet was dropped on the small Bimmers, there was an inceptor, the BMW 1 Series M Coupe. This is where things get tricky: usually, M models of a BMW series are simply called M-something. However, that would have been a disaster in the 1 Series’ case.

Can you imagine what would have happened if the Motorsport Division had spat on the memory of their original M1 from the 80s and called the beef-up hatchback the same? That’s how the 'Series 1 M Coupe' was penned.

It’s not the catchiest of names, but it is what it is. Since it was introduced in 2010, the 1 M Coupe gradually evolved into the M2s mentioned before. And, following the progressively increasing power increase law of automotive, the M2 got more power with each generation.

Luckily, there is a quantifiable method of assessing this evolution: a drag race. Surprised? Me neither; it was about time we saw how much 12 years means in the baby BMW’s technological development. Courtesy of carwow’s Mat Watson, all six variants of the M-badged small Bimmers take it out against each other on the quarter-mile moment of rear-wheel-driven truth.

Some things are sacred in Bavaria, and the three-liter straight-six is one of those monuments no one dares to even consider casting a blasphemous modification upon. That’s why all five cars lined up today have the same piston interior decoration: six cylinders arranged in a straight line.

But the blood ties quickly give way to personality differences. While the Series 1 M Coupe outputs 340 PS and 500 Nm (335 hp/369 lb-ft), its youngest sibling packs a much harder punch, at 454 hp and 406 lb-ft (450 hp/550 Nm).

A quantum leap, we could say - achieved in just 12 years, and the other three iterations are just steps of this evolutionary arms race. The original M2 from 2015 produced 365 hp and the same 369 lb-ft (370 PS/500 Nm) as its predecessor. Then, the M2 Competition upped the ante, doubled the turbocharger headcount, and raised the bar to 405 hp and 406 lb-ft (410 PS, 550 Nm).

As if the Competition package wasn’t enough – for some people, there’s no such thing as too much power, just not enough traction – the Club Sport version translated the performance notion as 444 hp (450 PS). Torque stayed level – and it didn’t change after the second-generation M2, launched late last year, came around.

However, the 2022 M2 gained an additional 10 hp and brags with 454 ponies (460 PS). The hidden facet of this power-over-time equation is added weight. Over 500 lbs (220 kg) separate the Series 1 M coupe from the bulky M2 of the second generation, which should make a difference. The 2022 M2 sits in a class of just over 1.7 tons. The other four cars gravitate around 1.5 tons.

Does that make a ton of difference in a drag race? Typically, it does – but the M2 is just absolutely insanely quick and leaves the start line like a bullet from a high-powered rifle. To make things as unfair as YouTubingly possible, two cars are fitted with six-speed manuals. In contrast, the others have automatics (dual-clutch or not) and launch control systems.

As expected, a drag race doesn’t provide a lot of surprises – except for when the computers play tricks and one of the cars, the first-gen M2, loses the Launch Control. That means it leaves the line at school bus speeds, asking for a pair of binoculars to see the taillights of the other two (the M2 Competition and the Series 1 M Coupe manual).

Surprisingly, the three-pedal inceptor of this M-rage is particularly agile off the line, getting ahead – until it’s time for the first-to-second shift. The manual nose-dives and the M2 Competition pulls away and wins. In the second race – held between the 2022 M2, the M2 CS of yesteryear, and the original M2 from 2015 – the scenario repeats itself – the CS also has a six-speed with a clutch pedal.

However, the muscle-bound new M2 takes zero prisoners and shoots off the line like the others aren’t even in the race. Interestingly, the enormous weight difference nullifies the extra power advantage over the M2 CS in the rolling race. Subsequently, the latest and greatest M2 can only watch from behind as the manual CS gets ahead and stays unchallenged.

As for the times, they align with the paper calculations: the fastest standing quarter goes to the 2022 M2, with a 12.1 high score. Interestingly, the M2 Competition was second-fastest, at 12.5 seconds. The CS and first-gen M2 came on par at 12.8, and the 1M arrived last, at 13 seconds.

In all fairness, the M2s did an outstanding job, especially if we compare the times with those of the four 700-hp RWD JDMs that raced the other day. The fastest Bimmers in this race would eat the winner of the other for breakfast, even if they aren’t in the same power-to-weight league. Also, the BMWs didn't break down, unlike some of their fully-built Japanese counterparts.