James May Has Old Man Rant at Tesla Model S, Lists Six Things He Doesn't Like

That could make it seem as though May is the kind of hipster that enjoys sitting against the flow when it comes to automotive trends and generally accepted opinions. His above-the-ankle pants, Adidas sneakers, and cartoonish t-shirt sure build toward that image.

However, the fact he seems to like the Tesla Model S can't really be filed in the same cabinet since pretty much everyone agrees the electric sedan is a great engineering achievement. Even people who dislike EVs have to admit the Model S is pretty mean. You can't criticize with a straight face something that can take five people and their baggage and still beat your sports car (you can make that supercar if you want) in a quarter-mile drag race.

Well, you can if you're one of the most famous car show presenters of all time and you're well into the age when you stop giving a damn. May starts the whole procedure by making it very clear he loves the car (nobody forced him to buy it, after all), but that he's not a "Tesla evangelist or an electric car evangelist." That's good to know, James. Do you know what we call people like you? Normal.

The man known as Captain Slow goes on to present six small things that annoy him about the car. Well, make that five since the first one can't really be taken seriously: he complains the car is "filthy," and he means that in a literal sense.

We're not going to go over each of the remaining five points since that would take away from the pleasure of watching the clip, but suffice to say that most of James' problems have an easy fix: he only needs to fiddle with the car's settings. As somebody in the comments put it, it's as though "his grand-kids never taught him how to use the new toy."

That's precisely what this whole thing feels like: an old man complaining about things not being like they used to. It has a "get off my lawn" vibe, albeit said in a calm voice with a soothing British accent. He does have a point with the Model S and 100D font, though. Serifs? Really? Those were out of fashion by the time Elon Musk hit puberty.