No, not the Kanye West kind of verse, but the old-fashioned Snoop Dog rhyme that people like me or Hillary Clinton can understand. Alfa Romeo is not happy with the state of our SUVs and crossovers. It decided to do something about it with the all-new Stelvio, its first such model in 104 years and named after one of the best driving roads in the world.
SUVs are usually about looking good or towing a boat, but when you name yours after a road with tens of hairpins, it's got to be exciting. And it is, or at least that's the impression we're getting from the commercial.
This minute-long video was launched at roughly the same time as the Stelvio's reveal at the Los Angeles Auto Show, a couple of weeks ago. And in that time, almost half a million people have watched it. The one and only 4x4 that's supposed to get your get your blood going is backed up by the color red, glamorous women, prancing horses, dopamine, and lipstick. Talk about using all the stereotypes!
We would have just stretched those few milliseconds of hooning the 505 horsepower Stelvio Q instead of this marketing bull. It's the only thing that matters in a world that matters when you're the only Italian in a world filled with Germans and Japanese. 0 to 60 in 3.9 seconds should be your primary focus.
In our opinion, the Stelvio isn't even a sexy machine. Sure, this performance model with cool paint, big wheels, and four exhaust pipes is alright, but a standard model can't touch the Jaguar F-Pace.
Most people buying the Stelvio are expected to go for the base or Ti configurations. These will have a
2.0-liter turbocharged four-cylinder producing 280 hp and 306 lb-ft of torque matched to a standard 8-speed automatic. Let's see them make a commercial about that one!
Mihnea's favorite cars have already been built, the so-called modern classics from the '80s and '90s. He also loves local car culture from all over the world, so don't be surprised to see him getting excited about weird Japanese imports, low-rider VWs out of Germany, replicas from Russia or LS swaps down in Florida. Full profile
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