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Tank Paintball Is What the Love Doctor Prescribed for This Valentine’s Day

Back in 2019, British company TrackDays released numbers showing that as we approach Valentine’s Day, bookings for military-oriented experiences are increasing. That’s probably because people in love like to vent off steam by shooting things at one another in a controlled environment, rather than doing it elsewhere.
FV432 paintball tank 1 photo
But 2019 was a normal year. In 2020, the majority of us had to spend a lot of time cooked up in the same (most of the time very cramped) space with our better halves, and a lot of steam must have built up. So a simple ride in a Russian Gvozdika 432 might not be enough this time.

What we need is something like tank paintball. You know, that activity where you shoot small balls of paint at friends and lovers, only with bigger balls of paint, and tanks.

Such an experience is also on the TrackDays menu. It involves a 17-ton FV432 as the main dish, and 40 mm paint rounds as seasoning. The modified war machines lack the things that might actually harm your better half, but feature modified cannons capable of firing the said spices.

The experience, which seems to be as Valentine’s friendly as any other this February, involves a crew of three taking turns in operating the tank, loading and aiming the cannon, and ultimately firing it and all your frustrations at some targets, including an opposing team equipped with the same hardware.

The great thing about this whole thing is that it all happens just as in real life, inside the tank, with military hardware and equipment all around - radio headsets, kevlar helmets, tank suits, periscopes and all that..

All you have to make sure, after a full year of living together, is that your significant other lands in the enemy tank, and not yours. Its even more cramped in there than in your home, and a lot of metal parts lying around...

The entire ride is not all that expensive. You get all of the above, and an experience lasting about two hours, for £140 ($193 give or take).

Editor's note: This article was not sponsored or supported by a third-party.

 
 
 
 
 

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