Four Pocket-Sized European Cars From Half a Century Ago Wage American Dragstrip War

Europe's finest cars line up for a thrilling, fast-paced three-stage fight for supremacy. Well, when I say "finest," I should elaborate a bit: Europe's finest very small cars from many years ago. France, Germany, Italy, and the U.K. battle it out on an airfield in Colorado to settle an imaginary dispute: Which is faster? Which is quicker? Which is "brickest"? (we'll explain the last attribute in a moment).

The first contender is a most popular car back in the day – and with a massive fan pool today. In fact, it's the People's Car - the Volkswagen Beetle. Powered by a 1.6-liter boxer-four, making 60 hp (61 ps), this rear-engined, rear-wheel-drive German legend of the highway is the largest of the four.

Slightly lesser in overall volume, a French icon – mainly to the French: the Citroen 2 CV6 – is ready to pick up the German gauntlet, although it is massively underpowered and decisively outgunned. 602 CCs, two horizontally opposed pistons, and 29 hp. Half the cylinders, a third of the power of the VW.

Then there's the Italian Job superstar automobile from England. The Mini Cooper A-Series, with its 1.3-liter four-cylinder, can put out 62 hp to the front wheels. Considered the British equivalent of the Beetle – in terms of appeal and size – this unmistakable emblem is the most powerful of the quartet.

Last – and least – is the mechanical wonder from the country of hot-tempered, heavy-footed gearheads – Italy. The Fiat 500 has the smallest engine in this showdown – 499 CCs, 18 hp (American households have more powerful kitchen appliances than this car). In Europe, this was filed under "means of personal transportation." Again, the two cylinders sit in the trunk, above the drive wheels, just like in the VW.

Three rounds for the unlikely gathering: the classic (for America) quarter-mile run, the braking test, and the top-speed challenge.

The Mini quickly wins in the sprint, followed by the Beetle and the narrow-wheeled French. The Fiat came last – expectedly, as it produces less power than a modern-day sportscar's exhaust. Just over 23 seconds for the Mini, 26.6 to the VW, nearly 33 seconds for the Citroen, and some 35-ish seconds on the Fiat's account. (The YouTubers have it wrong on the leaderboard, the video shows the true gap between the last two).

However, the light, fragile Italian came first in the braking trials. Because these cars are bricks on wheels by modern standards, 35-0 mph (56-0 kph) is the yardstick here. And the 500 nails it with a 35-foot braking distance (just under 11 meters). The VW and the Citroen were neck-and-neck, with 42- and 43-foot stoppage lengths (12.8 and 13.1 meters). Because of its driver's cautious attitude, the Mini covered almost 46 feet (14 meters) before coming to a full stop.

But the top speed was where the English legend smacked its competitor silly. Over the length of a 4,000-foot-long straight (1.2 kilometers), the Mini hit 75 mph (120 kph), blitzing the Beetle's 65 mph (105 kph). The Citroen and the Fiat came reasonably close to one another, with a 51 mph and 47 mph terminal velocity (82 kph / 76 kph). The cars could have gone even faster, given that a (much, much) longer track was available.