Dragway Hara-Kiri: Ferrari 296 GTB Races McLaren 765 LT, Porsche GT2 RS; Fat Lady Sings

In true American fashion, a drag race over the consecrated 1,320-foot-long distance is a non-nonsense affair where things are kept brilliantly simple and efficient. The best wins; the rest have to try harder or go home. No racing strategy tricks, no fuel fill-ups, no tire changes, none of that complicated setup.

It’s the genius behind the idea that gets us addicted: line up at the start, floor it, beat the other guy, repeat. Have a good time doing it, have a great time celebrating - what’s not to like about good old fashion quarter-mile sprints?

Well, one thing that could ruin the fun is a car breakdown – which often happens at the dragstrip for countless reasons. Then again, failure is expected when mechanical components are stressed to their breaking point – or beyond that –. Not appreciated, but probable.

What’s absolutely despicable is having a Ferrari 296 GTB racing a McLaren 765 Long Tail and an aging Porsche 911 GT2 RS and forfeiting because it can’t make up its hybrid mind on how to put the power down. Refer to the video for details, but the short version is: “Engine control system failure. Go to dealer.” Or “Hybrid system fail. Go to dealer.”

That’s what a £242,000 ($305,000 or thereabouts in June, 2023) car that came on the market last year is not supposed to say – especially in the middle of a muscle-flexing clash against serious contenders. For the money, a 296 GTB driver gets a lot of Ferrari performance (on paper).

The Italians have outdone themselves (and everyone else) with their marvelous V6 that puts out 109 hp (111 PS) and 52 lb-ft (71 Nm) - from every single cylinder. That’s 654 hp (663 PS) and 314 lb-ft (425 Nm) from traditional double turbo-charged combustion. Excellent work, Ferrari; your 120-degree V6 is serious Prancing Horsepower.

However, your engine management systems are not as marvelous as the unit they’re supposed to control. Could it be because of the electric motor add-on with its plug-in hybrid-ness? Topping that already tremendous piston output is a 164-hp, 232 lb-ft (167 PS, 315 Nm) electric motor coupled to the V6 that raises the total power output to 818 hp (830 PS) and 546 lb-ft (740 Nm).

All that goes to the rear wheels of a two-seater that weighs 1,470 Ferrari kilograms (3,240 lbs dry weight: the fuel, lubricants, coolant, and driver are not taken into the mass account). In real life, it would be more like 1,600 kg (almost 3,530 lbs).

The McLaren 765 LT is lighter – 1,339 kg (2,952 lbs) but less powerful – it “only” has a four-liter V8 with a pair of turbos on it, and that’s it. 755 hp (765 PS – hence the numerical part of the nameplate) and 590 lb-ft (800 Nm). It’s rear-wheel drive, so it’s a fair opponent for the Ferrari. It has one less gear (seven-speed versus the 296 GTB’s eight-speed dual-clutch – courtesy of Formula One technology and know-how).

Compared to these two lightsabers, the 2017-launched Porsche 911 GT2 RS has no straightforward chance (PUN intended). Since this is a twin-turbo party, the German guest packs the same architecture, although it spools the scrolls for a flat-six 3.8-liter engine.

The venerable horizontally-opposed design has been around forever in Porsche’s trunk – with regular upgrades, updates, upbringings, and upcycles. As a result, the current-generation 911 GT2 RS (codename 991 – Germans have a very caustic sense of humor… when they do) delivers 690 hp and 553 lb-ft (700 hp / 750 Nm) to the dual-clutch seven-speed gearbox.

From there, all the ICE might gets to the track via the two wheels flanking the V6 engine. I know, I said it’s a flat-six – and it is: the Vee angle is precisely 180° (don’t hold this sample of a personal try at German humor against the car).

This iconic Stuttgart Rearing Horse is featerweight thanks to the carbon fiber extravaganza and other race-inspired dietary amenities. That gigantic rear wing doesn’t help with the straight-line top speed. The 3,240-lbs Porsche (1,470 kg) is slim, but its aerodynamics were designed to go fast around corners, not shoot down the 440-yard strip.

That’s why it ends up looking at the taillights of the Ferrari and McLaren – when the Ferrari finally decides to play ball. The Italian supercar has some engine management hiccups and drops out of the drag races. When the driver – Mat Watson from carwow – decides he’s had enough of it and goes for the good old-fashioned manual launch, the 296 GTB becomes a comet.

It blasts off the line and stays ahead of the 765 LT – the Porsche is just a participant, not a competitor – finishing the best quarter-mile run in 10.2 seconds. One-tenth ahead of the 756 Long Tail (the 911’s best performance was a 10.6).

Keep in mind the race conditions – cold weather, damp track. It doesn’t look like it from the carwow video but play the second one to get a better picture of the race day. The Porsche's owner made a separate behind-the-scenes shoot.