An Audi Q5, a BMW X3, and a Volvo XC60 Walk into a Bar

These are three of the most successful models in an already successful segment - that of the premium mid-sized SUVs. If you feel like a few names are missing from the list, you're probably right. The Jaguar F-Pace, the Mercedes-Benz GLC-Class, and the Porsche Macan all had a right to join them, but making a video on six vehicles at a time is probably a logistical nightmare, not to mention a bit difficult to follow for our poor brains.

So these will have to suffice, especially since they are the newest of the bunch. For most people, choosing among them is a matter of personal preference. Yes, that's a blatant truism, but what we meant was that their choice is made even before checking out the competition for the simple reason they feel very strongly about these brands and would never consider one from the competition.

For the more flexible, however, here's a short video that highlights the pros and cons of the three (nearly said "German" there out of habit) SUVs. It all begins with their price, but we all know that premium car "starting prices" should not be paid any attention. It's a combination of what they offer as standard and how expensive the options are that matters, and analyzing that is usually a mammoth task.

No way to separate them there. How about exterior design? Well, this is always going to be subjective, but we kind of agree with Matt from carwow is declaring the Volvo XC60 as the best looking of the bunch. The BMW X3 is a distant second, but only because the Audi SUV design is so messed up right now.

Interior? That's something you can't judge based solely on looks since actual feel and ergonomics play a very important role as well. We'd probably give it to the Audi, with the Swede losing its top spot due to the empty sound knocking its dashboard makes. Yes, that's a thing.

From a practicality point of view, neither is that great. A station wagon offers more room for both passengers and luggage, but that's not what we're here to discuss. Depending on how you spec the car (those extra options we talked about earlier), they can offer neat features that make life on the inside easier such as sliding rear seats or reclining backrests. Choosing one is nigh-one impossible, but it looks like the BMW offers the best boot while the XC60 has the most useful rear seats.

Alright, what about driving? Do you even have to ask? Had the Macan been included in the comparo, then the BMW would have had a decent opponent, but without it it's easy cruising for the Bavarian. If it's dynamics that you're looking for, that is because the Audi Q5 nails the smooth ride experience. The Volvo, on the other hand, is just decent.

Decision time. Should we spoil it for you, or should we let you watch the video? Or, since we're just one day away from April 1, should we give you a false one, just so we can see how many of you watched the clip by the number of curses in the comments section? Nah, we'll just fill an entire paragraph with words that don't really say anything instead. You're welcome.