smart fortwo cabrio Ad Grabs Our Attention for All the Wrong Reasons

That's very nice of them. With most of us just coming out of winter and still a long time away from enjoying truly warm weather, this is the closest we'll get to a heat-stroke, even if it's just a virtual one. And they've also given us an enjoyable companion - or, at least, that's what she seems at first.

Despite this being a 360 degrees video, I kept the camera focused on the car's commands. My eyes barely left the steering wheel and the left-side footwell, and not for the reasons you're probably thinking of. It's just a professional habit, but whenever I get in the car with someone new, I analyze his or her driving technique. Usually, it only takes a minute or two to realize whether I should relax or be on my toes.

With the girl with the wavy hair and polka-dotted skirt driving a smart fortwo cabrio with the virtual me in it, it took less than fifteen seconds. First of all, she's just too relaxed with taking her hands off the wheel. We may be going slow, but somebody who does that at 20 mph is more likely to do it at higher speeds as well.

Of course, I realize she's an actor chosen for this gig based on different reasons than her great driving abilities, and she's also driving a stick, so there's that in her favor too, but she's not doing a terrifically good job of it. For one thing, you don't hover your left foot over the clutch pedal at all times. It's more a case of going in, doing the job, and getting the hell out of there, resting your foot on the "fourth" pedal on the left. She's also pressing the clutch when she's turning and before she starts to brake, which is a big no-no.

But the worst part happens around the 30-second mark. Forget about the fact that she rarely keeps her hands on the wheel correctly, just watch how she steers right. OK, lady, stop, I've had enough, I'd like to get out now. Who turns the wheel like that? I mean, apart from 70-year-old truckers, who else does that? I believe somebody told her about that during previous takes, because she seems to suddenly remember she's not supposed to do that so she tries to mask it with an artistic finger movement. You know, like gymnasts do when losing balance on the beam ("what are you talking about, I meant to do that, it was part of the program"). But you're not fooling us, sweetie.

Oh, and try to count how many times she says "cool" during the 120 seconds of the video. I would have done it myself, but I got out after that disastrous right-hand turn, remember?