Santa Loses Weight, Turns Hipster, Drives an Audi RS5 Sportback This Christmas

The ad is pretty long, so grab a warm drink because Santa went through a lot this year. It all starts with him struggling to go down the chimney and looking at a woman like a drunk ex-husband. Wait, he's looking at the car... nevermind.

So the jolly one decided he needs to go on a died and it almost feels like h would give up. Fortunately, he finds all the support he needs from his loving wife and an elf who runs a boxing gym. He's on a routine of cardio, crunches and even some light boxing.

For a moment there, it looks like he'll become one of those muscle men, as Dodge had in its commercials. But what we get is a slimmed down version with a perfectly groomed beard and fitted clothes, basically a millennial hipster. You know, I never thought the story about anime car brand stereotypes would come in handy so soon!

The slightly smug man does a big reveal like in one of those weight-loss TV shows, though we don't get to see if he underwent any skin-removal surgery. Misses Claus is also there, reveal the new magic sled with a suitable image. This is, of course, the brand new RS5 Sportback.

This is something that's been missing from the U.S. market, a sort of replacement for the RS4 sedan, but with a more practical liftback trunk. It's powered by a twin-turbo 2.9-liter V6 making 444 horsepower and 443 pound-feet of torque. It probably doesn't fly in the literal sense, but might give Santa a chance to enjoy winter drifting.