PARTISAN MOTORS Urges Musk to Send Its "Stronk" Russian SUV into Space Instead

In less than eight hours, SpaceX's Falcon Heavy will ignite its engines into what could become a memorable moment for mankind or just a very big and expensive fireball. Obviously, we're hoping for the former.
Apart from the fact this unmanned mission will lift the heaviest payload ever, what's also remarkable about today's launch is the payload itself: a Midnight Cherry Tesla Roadster belonging to Elon Musk himself. The electric sports car is going to spin in outer space for eternity - or until it meets some space debris, though the odds of that happening in the enormity of the universe are virtually none.

Well, it would appear not everyone agrees with Musk's choice of a vehicle. The Russians at PARTISAN MOTORS believe their military SUV called PARTISAN ONE would make for a much better space explorer and they're even ready to build a special edition called PARTISAN ONE MARS EDITION if Musk agrees to their proposal.

Looking at the ONE, you do get the feeling a planet with no atmosphere is the best place for the vehicle. That's because its aerodynamics are non-existent. Not "virtually" non-existent, but non-existent, period. It's boxier than a LEGO build, and that's quite an achievement.

Reading the company's press release is a prime example of why a written text can be deceiving compared to a face-to-face dialogue where you also get to see your interlocutor's facial expression. We read it quite a few times, and we can't tell whether PARTISAN MOTORS has a fine sense of humor, or it's actually serious about its proposal to Musk.

Their intention is to make the PARTISAN ONE MARS EDITION SpaceX's Mars exploration vehicle of choice, arguing its design and the use of materials recommend it for such use. They do make some valid points, but with Elon being the CEO of Tesla and having access to all the knowledge there, do they really think a SpaceX-Tesla collaboration would need much time to come up with something at least as good, if not ten times better?

We don't know of any answer from Musk to this press release, but we guess going forward with his plan speaks for itself. To be fair, we doubt Dr. Yury E. Postnikov, the man behind PARTISAN MOTORS, was actually hoping for a positive outcome. He was probably more interested in the publicity his company would get from tagging along with the Falcon Heavy launch. In which case, that was quite a good plan, though it might have conveyed a joker image for the company.
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About the author: Vlad Mitrache
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"Boy meets car, boy loves car, boy gets journalism degree and starts job writing and editing at a car magazine" - 5/5. (Vlad Mitrache if he was a movie)
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