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Naked Driver Touches Himself in Kissimmee

A deadly danger lurks on the dark streets of the quiet town of Kissimmee, Florida. A black Ford F-150 pickup, looking like it just come out right of Tarantino's Death Proof, is cruising about, searching for prey.

Behind the wheel of the F-150, a scary, chubby man, with a red bandana pulled over his head. Aside for the bandana, nothing covers his terrifying body. He's naked, b**t naked. But that's not all. The man likes to touch himself. And even that's not all.

Two people, enjoying their Monday walk near West Vine Street in Kissimmee came face to face with the monster. At first, they just believed he was a nice man, one of few left, as the truck stopped to let the two people pass. But then, the horror...

The two noticed the man behind the wheel, wearing just the red bandana. As if that wasn't enough, the driver was touching himself. “Inappropriately,” the two witnesses told police, adding that they fled the scene in horror.

Unfortunately, the witnesses appeared to be so mesmerized with what the driver was doing with his hands that they forgot to notice anything else. Police received only sketchy descriptions, none of which helped in identifying the villain.

As a result, a hunt is currently on in Kissimmee, Florida, a city of a little over 60,000 people who should be able to pinpoint the wanted. After all, we bet black Ford F-150s aren't so common in the area and naked chubby guys behind the wheel are even less so.
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About the author: Daniel Patrascu
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Daniel loves writing (or so he claims), and he uses this skill to offer readers a "behind the scenes" look at the automotive industry. He also enjoys talking about space exploration and robots, because in his view the only way forward for humanity is away from this planet, in metal bodies.
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