Driven: Dancing With the Porsche Wolves in a $1 Million Fast-Forward Test Drive

How do you do it? How do you launch this car? Porsche nailed it. They made it easy. They always do, that's so… Porsche. You just rotate the driving mode controller into Sport +, press the brake pedal hard with the left foot, something that you wouldn't normally do unless you're a rally driver, while putting the throttle pedal to the floor with your right foot. Then abruptly release the brake pedal. And there you go, bam!!!

You feel it in your stomach, you feel it in your throat, and in the back of your head slamming hard into the headrest in case you forgot to glue it there before you took your left foot off the brake. And you get this weird feeling that the seat underneath you is taking off and taking you with it. Yes, that's Launch Control. And simple physics. And it reminds you of all the biology classes you skipped in high school. All in a 911 Turbo S.

And despite all those mixed feelings that you get at the moment of the launch, halfway between throwing up and flying without wings, you want to do it again and again until it becomes your usual getaway. Once you get out of the 911 Turbo S, you are going to expect that kind of behavior from any car. Don’t. You're going to get your heart broken.

Well, that is Launch Control. You don't do it on public roads. Or at least you shouldn't. You don't do it when the traffic lights go green. Or at least you shouldn't, either. You do it on the racetrack, where you don't put anyone in danger with the 911 Turbo S charged weapon. Because that is what it is.

This car is loaded with 'ammunition.' It flashes from zero to hero (0-100 kph / 0-62 mph) in 2.7 seconds on its way to a top speed of 330 kph (205 mph). How does it get there? Well, ask that 3.7-liter flat-six that churns out 641 horsepower (650 PS) and 590 lb-ft (800 Nm) of torque.

Going into the slalom in a Porsche 718 Cayman Style Edition was just as fun. The car is so easy to handle, and it feels so stiff and light that it just waltzes its way between the orange plastic cones placed on the tarmac.

Painted in Ruby Star Neo (that’s a $13,000 Paint-to-Sample option!), the car screams "Look at me!" It is definitely an eye-catcher. And a dream catcher, too. That is what Porsche probably had in mind when they came up with the anniversary slogan: Celebrating 75 years of dreaming in full color.

The 718 Cayman comes with 295 horsepower (300 PS) generated by that mid-mounted turbocharged 2.0-liter engine and steered straight to the rear axle. It may not sound like much. But you'd change your mind behind the steering wheel. Remember, this is a Porsche and sports cars are in their DNA. It is just enough for fun in the 718 Cayman.

All cars brought to the racetrack are equipped with the Porsche Sport Chrono Package. That is a portal to happiness. No, really, it is. You just have to turn that switch on the steering wheel into Sport or Sport + mode, and the car will do the rest.

The throttle is more responsive, the suspension goes firmer, the transmission shifts more aggressively. Now that we have proved that we mean business, let's go. The track is waiting.

Try to keep up with the Taycan in a Macan

On the racetrack, the Porsche team split the cars into two groups: the four-door and two-door models. The Macan S, Panamera GTS Sport Turismo, and the Taycan Turbo Cross Turismo stood aligned on the right side of the pit lane. Meanwhile, the Porsche 911 Targa 4, the 911 Carrera S Cabriolet, and the 718 Boxster GTS waited silently on the left side. Well, that silence was smashed into pieces when the first key turned in the ignition.

The Macan S was the first of the four-door models that I got my hands on. I have driven it before, and it always felt light, bright, and ready to fight. But on the racetrack, trying to keep up with cars that have half its ground clearance of 7.96 inches (202 millimeters), well, that's a whole different story. It does keep up, but you have to struggle behind the wheel, you have to work hard in there.

Powered by the 2.9-liter V6 turbocharged, capable of 375 horsepower (380 PS) and 384 lb-ft (520 Nm) of torque, it scores great points in every department. But to credit it with those points, don't get behind the steering wheel of a Porsche with a lower center of gravity right after it.

It is something that I did, and the Macan GTS, even though it is stiff and has never been underpowered, seemed so… under… something. I can't help thinking that the next-gen Macan is going electric. Will we miss the ICE? Probably, the instant torque is going to shut down all access to nostalgia.

Next up was the Porsche Panamera GTS, the sports shooting brake that looks so dynamic as if the wind pulled that body into a ponytail toward the rear. It is not quite a ballerina as it is, we are dealing with a 4,453-pound (2,020-kilogram) car, after all. But sporting a lower center of gravity, the Panamera felt like a whole different breed compared to the Macan crossover.

The 473 horsepower (480 PS) did their job just right, the 2.9-liter V6 engine and the PDK transmission went in perfect sync for some tango in corners, for some flashing on straights. Out there on the racetrack, that streamlined body got all the right angles for cornering. For photos, too.

And then it was the Taycan Turbo Cross Turismo's turn. You know that it is heavy, because you have read the spec sheet time and time again. It tips the scale at 2,320 kilograms (5,115 pounds). That is plenty of car to handle around. You know that it is powerful because you can feel it. That 671 horsepower (680 PS) shows in every foot on the racetrack. That is plenty of force to play around with. Besides, we are dealing with an EV, so the instant torque slams to the ground once you press the accelerator.

Yet you know it is so easy to handle, too, because it goes exactly where you want it to go, not an inch further. It plunges into turns, head first, and, even though you don't have the sound of the Panamera GTS and all the drama that comes with it, this car has got a lot of nerve on the racetrack.

Behind the wheel, you feel like you have just discovered you’ve got magic powers and you can turn this into a toy in the palm of your hand. Well, hold those palms tight on that steering wheel because you need to keep them there. You don't have a magic wand, but you’ve got a throttle pedal. And that’s magic, too.

Dancing with the two-door wolves

Now, it is the turn of the two-door wolf pack. Will they attack? Will they bite? Will they howl? Will they dance? They do a little bit (or more) of all. They attack the racetrack like a hungry wolf pack, they bite the tarmac as if they have been craving for it while those engines howl and growl. No, they can't be tamed. They just trick you into believing that you can. Don't get your hopes up.

The first car to get my hands on from this two-door pack is the 718 Boxter GTS. I get two laps in it, not just one, and by the time I get to the first corner, I know I made the right choice.

The Porsche 718 Boxster GTS scores so much fun per inch of sheet metal that I count the feet until the finish line, afraid that this will come to an end, while I am enjoying every single foot of that track. The 718 Boxster sharpens my senses, I am not going to let that moment slip through my hands. I am handling 395 horsepower (400 PS) for a run from 0 to 100 kph (0-62 mph) in 4.5 seconds and a top speed of 293 kph (182 mph).

Those numbers are in every acceleration and braking, in every turn and straight. And still, they don’t tell the whole story. This car is so raw, it’s grippy, and snippy, and zippy and everything in between.

Those 20-inch wheels just glue themselves to the tarmac and, no matter how hard you drive it, no matter how much you abuse it, it won’t fail you. It’s there where you want it to go, dancing its way through the corners with brutal solid moves, roaring and howling while popcorn-ing from back there when downshifting.

Going back into the pit lane and getting out of the car after a warm-up lap and a fast lap is a heartbreak. Isn't there a… faster lap and a fastest lap and a faster than the fastest lap, too? Because I just feel I’ve got this void in my life after I hand it to someone else. Must I, really?

My second favorite out of this two-door wolf pack was the 911 Targa 4. It strikes that special elegance that tries to disguise the gruff and grunt personality. Some call it the best-looking 911 in the lineup. I would not dare to contradict that because the next best thing to watching that beautifully drawn sideline for minutes is the actual driving of the car.

Top up, of course. Always top up on the racetrack for safety reasons and to avoid the nasty noise that air vortexes would bring on board. The last thing you would need out there, when you press that pedal to the metal, is this distraction.

That twin-turbo 3.0-liter grants the Targa 4 with 379 horsepower (385 PS) going to all four wheels, enough for a run from 0 to 100 kph (0-62 mph) in 4.4 seconds. The needle of the odometer goes all the way to 289 kph (180 mph). This is no Sunset Drive cruiser only.

It may be the heaviest of them all because it has the targa-style body, yet with the stiffness of the convertible (40 kilograms/88 pounds more than the cabriolet). But you don’t feel you are carrying that heavy backpack because the engine of the Targa 4 proudly pulls that body. Sport or Sport+ modes might it feel so light and tight and I know that I am right to like it.

Up in the 911 Carrera S Cabriolet and I already miss the 718 Boxster GTS. That’s only until I hit the racetrack and there is no living in the 5-minutes-ago past. The 911 Carrera S is so composed and I know I can blame it on the stiff chassis and on that six-cylinder twin-turbo 3.0-liter engine that puts 444 horsepower (450 PS) under my right foot and in the palm of my hands.

The rear-mounted engine pushes this car on the track, chasing it through the corners and straights like there’s no tomorrow.

The day is over, and I have to leave all those motorized Porsche treasures there, all alone (well, not quite, but it just sounded good), in the pit lane. I just can’t understand why they won’t let me drive home in one of these babies. I could just leave my car as a substitute for any of those “wolves,” hoping that the Porsche team won’t be able to tell the difference. What car is it? you may ask. Oh, well… it isn't German anyway. So I drove it back home. Damn! Launch Control doesn’t work on it. Reality check.