Photo: HBW.com
The birds in Gilbert City, Minnesota, are on an all-out drunken bender. According to a public notice posted to Facebook by the cops last week, all drivers should be cautious of drunken birds disrupting traffic.
The notice comes after several complaints lodged with the cops, from drivers and pedestrians reporting bizarre behavior from the birds. As it turns out, they’re not going Hitchcock-style on them, they’re just intoxicated.
“The Gilbert Police Department has received several reports of birds that appear to be ‘under the influence’ flying into windows, cars and acting confused. It appears that some birds are getting a little more ‘tipsy’ than normal,” Gilbert Police Chief Ty Techar writes in the public notice.
“The reason behind this occurrence is certain berries we have in our area have fermented earlier than usual due to an early frost, which in turn has expedited the fermenting process,” Techar continues. “Generally, younger birds’ livers cannot handle the toxins as efficiently as more mature birds.”
So they’re like human teenagers: they have a few mouthfuls and are too drunk to know what they’re doing. The notice continues to say that people shouldn’t rush to call the cops, because, just like teenagers, the drunk birds will be sobering up soon, too.
As we speak, the warning has gone viral. For starters, it put into words something that people had been noticing and couldn’t explain. Secondly, it’s worded in a hilarious manner because, after delivering all the information above, it continues to suggest some situations that might merit a 911 call like seeing the Roadrunner “jumping in and out of traffic on Main Street,” Bigbird “operating a vehicle in an unsafe manner” or Angry Birds causing mayhem on the streets.
So if you’re in Gilbert City, Minnesota and you see a bird flying straight for your windshield or smashing into your window, don’t call the cops. But do reach for that phone if it tries to take over driving from you.
“The Gilbert Police Department has received several reports of birds that appear to be ‘under the influence’ flying into windows, cars and acting confused. It appears that some birds are getting a little more ‘tipsy’ than normal,” Gilbert Police Chief Ty Techar writes in the public notice.
“The reason behind this occurrence is certain berries we have in our area have fermented earlier than usual due to an early frost, which in turn has expedited the fermenting process,” Techar continues. “Generally, younger birds’ livers cannot handle the toxins as efficiently as more mature birds.”
So they’re like human teenagers: they have a few mouthfuls and are too drunk to know what they’re doing. The notice continues to say that people shouldn’t rush to call the cops, because, just like teenagers, the drunk birds will be sobering up soon, too.
As we speak, the warning has gone viral. For starters, it put into words something that people had been noticing and couldn’t explain. Secondly, it’s worded in a hilarious manner because, after delivering all the information above, it continues to suggest some situations that might merit a 911 call like seeing the Roadrunner “jumping in and out of traffic on Main Street,” Bigbird “operating a vehicle in an unsafe manner” or Angry Birds causing mayhem on the streets.
So if you’re in Gilbert City, Minnesota and you see a bird flying straight for your windshield or smashing into your window, don’t call the cops. But do reach for that phone if it tries to take over driving from you.
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