1,100-HP BMW X3M Drags Heavily Tuned M3, M5, Proves There's Such a Thing As Too Much HP

A BMW X3M isn’t typically designed to be extremely fast on the track, dragstrip, or between stoplights. It is faster than its regular cousin, the X3, which doesn’t share the most powerful letter in the alphabet honors, but it’s no street brawler. Unless it goes to the horsepower gym, eats a tray of scorching-hot embers, and returns to maul everyone in the school run contest with 1,100 hp (1,115 PS).

That’s the case of this post-apocalyptic grocery-getter of a Beemer SUV, which now sits atop 944 lb-ft (1,280 Nm) of crank torture. The engine is the same three-liter straight-six S58 found in regular X3Ms but has been subjected to several mods (see the gallery for a list). The single-turbo powerplant has suddenly found 100% more power and torque lying around and decided to put them all to quarter-mile use.

Since no one has ever raced by themselves (mainly because a race implies at least two contestants), the most befitting adversaries would be some heavy-punching SUVs, correct? Yes, but it's inaccurate because this soccer mom’s teleporting pad is up against some serious in-house challengers.

These two have heraldic go-fast coats-of-arms to defend: the M5 and the M3 Touring have traditionally been synonymous with sportscar-like performance despite being very well-established family car nameplates. But that would be a very high-octane-consuming family because neither the M5 nor its little brother-in-arms, the M3, is precisely what Munich had in mind when it developed the two automobiles.

The M3 wagon carries 970 brake horsepower (984 PS) and 811 lb-ft (1,100 Nm), courtesy of the same three-liter straight-six S58 powerplant that also pumps the X3M rival to life. However, the Touring variant of the M3 has one extra air compressor fitted under the hood. It also carries a list of after-market add-ons and enhancements long enough to cover half the 440-yard strip it performs on.

No drag race can claim that title if it doesn’t have at least one eight-cylinder motor, with a piston architecture of two banks split by a 90° valley. Enter the M50 and its 4.4-liter, twin-turbocharged V8 – naturally, not in stock 600-hp form, but in a slightly altered state of tune. Slightly, because the power surge is way less than in the others’ cases.

This M5 is an 875-horsepower, 723 lb-ft (887 PS, 980 Nm) school-run machine – entirely the work of its owner and driver. Compared to the other two, it is the least subjected to tuning muscle-up, but it is also, surprisingly, the lightest.

The big sedan is a feather under the smaller but fatter wagon (1.855 v 1.865 tons), while the X3M is loyal to its SUV pledge of allegiance and puts 2.050 tons down). To compensate for that extra layer of body mass, the big Beemer sports the highest bhp/ton rating (536). Since all three contestants are equipped with all-wheel-drive systems, this is anyone’s race, by paper logic.

But real-world events rarely stick to plans, so the M3 Touring leaves the others in the dust (driver reflexes are spot on, too, which helps a lot, especially during the standing launches). The rolling start races are a battle for second place between the M5 and the X3M since the winner takes a comfortable lead and puts a safe distance between its rear bumper and the runner-up.

The M3 records the fastest 62-124 mph (100-200 kph) time at 4.48 seconds, marginally faster than the ailing X3M brute (4.60) and a lot over the M5’s best achievement of 5.12 seconds. (Remember to compare the modifications lists between the three, then take another good look at that M5).

The drag races are no different in outcome – the M3 is the absolute winner of the day – but it’s here where the M5 shines brightest, scoring a 2.33-second 0-60 mph (97 kph) sprint. Quick, but not enough to take the crown away from the M3 Touring. While a heartbeat slower (2.54 seconds for the 0-60 times), the wagon makes up in top-end speed, clenching the victory with one-hundredth of a second ahead of the M4.

9.97 v 9.98, but the difference in top speeds is self-explanatory: 144 mph/232 kph on the M3 and 140 mph (225 kph) on the M4. The X3M wasn’t even in the race, with a personal best of 11.27 seconds (at 109 mph / 175 kph). It still recorded a 3.17-second dash to sixty, but there’s a catch: it fought boost leaks and head lift in every race. That explains the less-than-satisfying results for the 1,100-hp Bavarian Barbarian. Still, it also shows what happens when tuning and mechanical limits don’t get along anymore.