PORSCHE Cayenne Review

The rain of buttons on the center console doesn't do much for the Cayenne's integrity as a modern SUV, so its real inner age does show from this point of view. With this in mind, the interior is a very nice place to sit in. The quality of materials is top-notch and the standard list of features is quite long, even for a car that costs as much as some small houses.

The optional pneumatic suspension does a great job of keeping any road imperfections from leaking in the interior, at the same time as keeping the 5,000 pound beast on all four 18-inch wheels.

As we said earlier, the cabin design is complemented by the usual Porsche turn-on-the-engine-with-your-left-hand, and as odd as that seems, it doesn't hurt your personal comfort as long as you get acquainted with the procedure as soon as possible.

Speaking of creature comforts, the audio-system does a great job at providing an entertaining atmosphere whenever the driver doesn't feel like throwing his passengers in the trunk by using the pedal from the right.

Each of the three modes for the pneumatic suspension provide enough damping for your average passengers and it makes the car quite independent of the quality of roads it's being driven on. Also, the two electrically-controlled seats in the front are nice and cozy, adding to the feeling that the Cayenne, even in Diesel form, is a comfortable piece of machinery.

From the technical point of view, the facelift-ed Cayenne, especially in Diesel-guise, is an almost entirely new model. Remember, this is the first ever diesel-powered road-going Porsche, but the sheer blasphemy of the things doesn't take away from the fact that this is a very good engine.

Three liters of displacement, 240 horsepower and no less than 550 Nm (405.7 lb ft) of torque available from 2000 to 2250 rpm can haul quite a lot of a**. Sadly, now that even Porsche themselves have switched to the double-clutch "PDK" system for their gearboxes, the six-speed tiptronic transmission doesn't feel so special anymore.

It has the tendency to start in second gear and the shift times feel like forever compared to a PDK-fitted Porsche. Not to say this is a slow slushbox by the way, since the old-school torque converter-based gearbox is still faster than any human would be with a manual. Plus, the gear shifts are almost seamless, making for a very comfortable trip.

The pneumatic electronically-controlled suspension does a pretty good job at eliminating the body roll you were bound to experiment on almost any public road with this amount of weight to haul. It is also very effective at improving comfort, since the hydraulic actuators in the suspension keep the Cayenne flat whenever you're changing lanes, reducing the sea-sick inducing motions of a regular fullsize SUV.

Starting with the HID headlights with light sensor and the windshield wipers aided by a rain sensor, the Cayenne Diesel we tested had just about anything you might want from a premium modern SUV. The real surprise came when we heard it was barely fitted with about half of the amount of gadgets it might have.

For example, our test car was fitted with the dynamic cruise control but without the extra eight or so buttons for the steering wheel, with which you can in theory control quite a lot of the car's functions. The only buttons present on the steering wheel were the two plus/minus Tiptronic switches for the automatic transmission.

Other than that, we had a highly capable dual-zone automatic air conditioning unit, four automatic windows and a self-closing hatch for the luggage compartment. No, it wasn't actuated by a button or from the interior since you still had to pull it downwards, it just closed itself electrically. Yeah, we didn't get it either.

Apart from that, our test car was also fitted with the latest Porsche Communication Management system with touch screen, integrated hard disk drive and navigation system. Pretty neat stuff, albeit we didn't get why it had both touch screen and button-based controls.

Considering this is a 2.5 tonne SUV, you shouldn't be afraid of the results that its VAG platform brothers got on the EuroNCAP crash testing. The Audi Q7 barely got four stars out of five and the Volkswagen Touareg received five stars after a second testing session. The “common platform” thingy shouldn't be taken as a literal sign of weakness, since Porsche's engineers didn't exactly copy/paste the whole car and used badge engineering to pass it on as a real stand-alone model.

In other words, the Cayenne is actually more different than the other two than you might actually think. On our test car, there was a combination of six standard airbag (two frontal dual stage, two lateral and two head curtains), with the possibility of adding another two lateral ones in the rear.

As for active safety, there's standard anti-lock braking system, electronic brake distribution and Porsche's own electronic stability programe (PSM - Porsche Stability Management). If that's not enough to convince you... did we mention the 5,000+ pounds of “aluminium und schteel” prepared to annihilate any compact car unlucky enough to get in your way? Trust us, the Porsche Cayenne is safe enough.

What's the best part about the Cayenne Diesel? Well, you'll probably don't believe it, but it certainly isn't its engine. Not that it's a bad one, it's just that it doesn't stand out with pretty much... anything. It has an OK fuel consumption, offers decent performance for an SUV this heavy and it's far from being noisy. No, the best part about the Cayenne Diesel, and about the Cayenne range in general maybe, is its ability to both haul the kids to soccer practice in style AND crawl out of an off-road scenario good-enough for a disaster movie. It's probably the best compromise between on and off road.

The worst part about the Cayenne Diesel we tested is obviously the shame. The shame its owners must feel when entering a gas station and filling it up with... diesel fuel. Come on guys, it's Porsche! Cars wearing that badge shouldn't use the same fuel as tractors, they should be as hardcore as possible!

In the end, one question remains: who exactly needs a 240 hp diesel in combination with a two-speed transfer case for off-road trips into the wilderness, but with 18-inch alloy wheels shoed in high-performance tires suitable only for asphalt driving? Oh, and all that with a Porsche badge on the hood, we should add. The short answer: the same individual who wears a $20,000 Rolex Oyster Perpetual Submariner with no urge whatsoever to check its waterproof capabilities by diving into the ocean with it. Of course, if you believe in automotive induced global warming and think that a 5000+ pounds of a gargantuan four-wheeled beast is a bit politically incorrect, you obviously aren't in the market for a Cayenne.