Why Can-Am Spyders Are Sort of A Euphemism

Before some Spyder fans start barking at me, I should start by saying that I don’t have anything against these trikes or for what’s worth, their owner and fans. They definitely aren’t the issue which guided me onto writing the lines below. It’s the way some fellows use them which unnerves me at times.
Some chaps of mine said (and maybe they were right) that I shouldn’t be bothered by these guys. Frankly, I live a rather happy life and could do just well forgetting about the whole thing and just enjoy my two-wheeler wherever it may take me this weekend. While I really believe this is a sane and thoughtful piece of advice, I feel like being quiet and burying this is kind of unfair. That is, because such passivity has allowed the birth of fake motorcycle riders. Not unlike the "beak thing" story...

Yes, brothers and sisters, it’s all about bigger or lesser celebrities who like to show up on a Spyder and pretend they’re just like the rest of the motorcyclists out there. I know that the US DOT has a rather relaxed definition for “motorcycle,” but I also know that reality cannot change because of a definition.

In a way, this looks like the trike vs. two-wheeled motorcycles, but most of the trike riders have been riding on two wheels in the past and have switched over to three because of various, mostly well-founded reasons. I have met an old guy at a rally who had one of his legs crushed in an accident and could no longer make proper use of his left foot on the old K100 he used to ride.

Since the fellow obviously had no plans to stop riding, he sold his old Beemer and bought a trike. The custom heel-toe shifter he had installed and the floorboards provided him with the ease-of-use and comfort to suit his condition AND allowed him to cross the state line and attend rallies dozens of hundreds of miles from his home.

This, however, cannot be said about the likes of Justin Bieber and a whole bunch of other censored folks. They might be decent people, but posing as badass bikers in Spyders and benefiting from the simple fact that these vehicles are described as “motorcycles” kind of grinds my gears. You know Elio, the three-wheeler which is causing some online buzz lately? That is a motorcycle, too, at least in DOT’s books. And the awesome Polaris Slingshot is yet another motorcycle, by the same standards. Does operating them or a Spyder make one a biker? I really doubt it.

The old Romans used to say that “philosophum non facit barba,” which means that a beard doesn’t make you a philosopher, and there is still much truth behind these words. Neither does wearing a helmet make one a biker. Aaand posing on a bike which doesn’t lean and from which one can fall only if he or she is really dumb doesn’t help either.

In fact, what bothers me is the fact that the public is completely mesmerized by the characters and is willing to mindlessly swallow pretty much anything. I’ve already stumbled upon discussions mentioning Bieber as a biker. As in motorcyclist, you know.

Nevertheless, he’s not the only one, he just happens to be one of the most prominent of these fake wannabe bikers I happened to run into. And I guess that I’m still doing him a favor, despite my small rant…

At the completely opposite side of the motorcycle universe, you can find decent guys who have done so much more in life and who are minding their own business, riding their bikes and having fun with their riding buddies. Without searching too much, the likes of Carl Cox come into mind, Keanu Reeves, Ewan McGregor and his BMW mate Charley Boorman, David Beckham and the list could still last to the end of the page.

These are REAL bikers, who throw a leg over REAL bikes, who will ride in the rain and sweat like the rest of us do under their leathers as the morning cold turns to afternoon warmth and they’re out in the middle of nowhere. People who don’t need to show others that their heart beats often sound like a bike’s rumble.

That’s why real bikers are a huge brotherhood, no matter what bikes they may be on, where they come from and where they are heading for. Keep calm and be a biker!
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