Cars That Make You Look Richer than You Are

I don’t want to spoil the book for those who haven’t read it yet, but Animal Farm can be summed up in a single phrase: “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.” This line of thought applies to each of us, not to mention the automotive industry.

In the earliest days of the automobile, those who afforded a car first bought a rolling chassis. As in the wheels, axles, engine, transmission, differential, suspension, and steering system sans the body shell, interior, and any creature comforts whatsoever. The second and final phase of acquiring an automobile in the past was a little more complicated than the first.

What I’m saying is that the owner of the rolling chassis had to approach a coachbuilder and request a body and an interior. Series production and standardized bodies didn’t exist back then, which is why coachbuilders were crucial to those who afforded to go places in a personal means of transportation. One of the most well-known synergism is that between Fisher Body and Cadillac, with the former providing all closed bodies for Cadillac in the 1910s.

With the advent of unibody construction, Italian styling houses such as Pininfarina, Zagato, Bertone, and Vignale became the go-to solution for the rich and famous who wanted to be more equal than others from a social (and motoring) point of view. But what about us people, souls who can’t afford to ring Ian Callum and ask him to design a more exotic body shell for whatever’s parked in front of the driveway?

Unfortunately, there’s no solution to that problem except for tuning. But tuning often goes wrong, and we've seen enough examples that back that opinion. Do you fancy a Mercury Cougar-based replica of the Bugatti Veyron? What about a Toyota Prius with four exhaust pipes and a leather wrap for the trunk, hood, and roof? The final example comes in the form of a Lamborghini with the power to make Christmas trees blush.

Under the circumstances, a question has to be posed. Are there any production cars that make one look richer than he is without resorting to tuning, styling houses, and coachbuilding? Yes, I’m talking about normal cars made by normal people employed by normal manufacturers which pay normal wages. Those individuals who want to claim a piece of the not-so-humble pie and the respect of friends without spending too many dollars on a supercar, an S-Class or a Range Rover, the following list is dedicated to you.

MINI Cooper S

When the British Motor Corporation started production of the Mini in 1959, the customers knew it wasn't anything more than a small economy car with a teeny-weeny starting price. In today’s money, the original Mini would cost a mere £10,485 or $14,825.

At the turn of the 1960s, something strange happened and changed the identity of the Mini. The Swinging Sixties and the in-crowd happened. That’s how young people started customizing the Mini to reflect their individuality and John Cooper put his name on the sportiest Mini models. Even today, the small car that says more about your well-being than your account balance does is the MINI.

Mind you, the Cooper S is the one that cuts the mustard. The JCW may be more hardcore and faster, but non-car people don’t know what a JCW is all about. That’s why girls go weak at the knees when they see the MINI badge and Cooper S lettering affixed to the hatch door. As for the boys, they will think you’re cool because they have read in a magazine that the Cooper S handles like a go kart.

Mercedes-Benz C-Class Cabriolet

When someone hears Mercedes-Benz, he or she immediately associates the name with prestige. It’s something the German manufacturer worked towards for more than a century. In a similar vein, people associate Volvo with safety and Toyota with reliability.

Why is the C-Class Cabriolet the model I think it makes one look richer than they are? Well, it’s the poshest C-Class of them all because it comes with the biggest wow factor. That’s what a canvas roof and 86 million miles of blue sky do and that’s something you don’t get in an A-Class hatchback or a family-oriented GLC. And no, the Mercedes-Benz E-Class Cabriolet doesn’t count because it’s too in-between the C-Class Cabriolet and the hideously expensive S-Class Cabriolet.

Pricing for this thing isn’t available yet, but I can guarantee that it won’t cost you an arm and a leg. I’ll bet my two cents on a starting price lower than that of the E-Class sedan. I know what I’d choose between the Merc and rivals such as the BMW 4 Series convertible.

Jaguar F-Pace

It was 2013 when Jaguar presented the C-X17 Concept, also known as the precursor of the F-Pace. Oh, how all of us (including me) laughed when the British company promised that the production vehicle would mirror the design of the concept down to the most minute detail. I was badly wrong and I still feel ashamed for my unfair assumption.

It took the British feline just three years to morph the C-X17 into the F-Pace, and would you look at the thing. I can’t think of a compact luxury crossover SUV that comes close to the appeal of the F-Pace. No, the Lexus NX falls short because it’s too weird for most people’s taste. What about the Range Rover Evoque? Too many of them on the streets, sorry. Put plainly, the Evoque is no longer king of the hill.

Want an ever better argument than styling and commonality? The price. I kid you not, but the Jaguar F-Pace starts at $40,990 for the 2-liter model with all-wheel drive, a sliding panoramic roof, and an 11-speaker Meridian sound system. Would you pay almost $500 more for an Evoque? I certainly wouldn’t do that. At the end of the day, Jaguar is a cooler brand than Range Rover and the F-Pace oozes affluence.

Lexus RC

As an entry-level luxury sedan, the Lexus IS is a great alternative to more commonplace models such as the BMW 3 Series. Before the RC came along, the smallest coupe in the Lexus lineup was the IS 250 C. Starting with the third-generation IS, the Japanese company decided to distance the sedan from the coupe convertible by christening the latter RC instead of IS 250 C. Branding works in mysterious ways, I know.

Branding is the promise a company makes to its customers. And boy does the RC deliver in terms of added value. What Lexus did with this rebranding is similar to what the Burberry luxury fashion house did at the turn of the Noughties. Once considered gangwear due to its popularity amongst hooligans, Burberry turned around 180 degrees after Kate Moss and Emma Watson posed for the British fashion house.

A clever rebranding can produce a fresh identity and this is the magic Lexus performed on the RC. The audacious exterior design and the well-appointed cabin also help with making the Lexus RC a magnet for envious glances from the males and wishful looks from the females.

Genesis G90

The Hyundai Equus may be something to long for in South Korea, but the full-size luxury sedan never came close to established luxury models such as the Mercedes-Benz S-Class and the BMW 7 Series. With the creation of the Genesis standalone brand and the arrival of the G90, Hyundai can finally pride itself on a bona fide luxobarge. Compared to the German jet set, the Genesis G90 has two aces up its sleeve.

First and foremost, it will be considerably less expensive. Like in the region of $30,000 less expensive than an entry-level Mercedes-Benz S-Class. This should appeal to those in the market for a luxurious car that doesn’t cost as much as a house. As for the second ace up the Genesis G90’s sleeve, this one comes in the form of distinctiveness. Car people have noticed it since the early 2000s. The S-Class, 7 Series, and A8 started copying one another and something got lost in translation.

A decade and a half ago, each of the three models had a feature or two that made them stand out from one another. I might be wrong, but the outgoing models don’t feel as special as their ancestors. The Genesis G90 isn't exactly special either. The best it can do is to promise “best-in-class NVH refinement levels.” At best, scarcity produced by low demand will be the redeeming trait of the Genesis G90.

I am aware that the Genesis badge doesn’t hold a candle to a three-pointed star and that the exterior design won’t appeal to most people at first glance. Korean brands are near the bottom as far as prestige is concerned, but get a naysayer in the rear right-hand side sofa, turn the hot stone massage function on, and then ask them what they think about the Genesis G90’s credentials as a full-size luxury sedan. I expect a “Woah, now this is what I call fit for a king. You must’ve paid a fortune on this kind of lug-zu-ree!”

Oscar Wilde once said that deceiving others is what the world calls a romance. Many cars can pull the "Yes, I'm a rich person!" trick, but never forget the golden rule: walking the walk is sexier than talking the talk.