Car Afficionado Turned Lottery Winner. What Do I Buy? - Driving Disorder Ep. 2

Success Kid and Tesla Model S burnout 1 photo
Photo: Catalin Garmacea, edited by autoevolution
I’ve just put my No More Mr. Nice Car Guy suit back on, which means I will once again pretend to be a car columnist who has hit the jackpot and can now finally buy the car of his dreams. My best imaginary friend (I call her Driving Disorder) will obviously assist me throughout the process, so, once again, which (super)car do I choose? A man in my predicament can never again go below 600 hp.
Now that I’ve realized how much money I gained overnight, I figured out I could just as well think big. A Pagani sounds perfect for that kind of activity, so I might just end the story here and grab myself one. But the burden of the eternal Pagani question is too much for me. Should I talk to Horacio and commission yet another Zonda 0ne-off? Perhaps I’ll be the one millionth customer (you know there are countless such cars) and I’ll get something for free. What? I'm still not used to my Richie Rich status, so I enjoy complimentary attention. Something like a Huayra. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about which one to choose. OK, so this is exactly what I’ll do.

On second thought, I can’t do that. You know how good guy Horacio always likes to take matters into his skilled hands - he’ll probably come visit every week or so to wash my car or change my wiper blades. Don’t get me wrong, Pagani’s founder is one of the best guys in the business, but it would be disrespectful of me to allow him to catch me visiting the Koenigsegg factory in his car.

If I got a Pagani, I would want to drive it to the Koenigsegg headquarters when I order my Swedish hypercar. The aim is simple. Christian von Koenigsegg looks like a strong negotiator, but I’ll certainly impress him if I drive into his factory to buy one of his cars using a Pagani.

I was thinking about a public negotiation for a Regera (that’s the one I want) during his recent AMA (Ask Me Anything) on the Koenigsegg website. But, since my scheme starts with a Pagani, all I could think of were... Zonda questions.

You know what? I should forget both Pagani and Zonda. I will go out there and grab myself a hypercar from the Big Three - when you have as much money as I do, Porsche, Ferrari and McLaren are the Big Three, not those Detroit bailout people.

Then again, my Big Three aren't that stable either. Just think about Ferrari. Is it going public or not? When? How?

I can't go out there and simply buy a Prancing Horse. That's what every lottery winner would do. I've spent years driving and writing about cars. So if I buy a supercar and enjoy it, I'll want to make money out of this deal once I'm done with the car.

But which one do I buy? The LaFerraris are all sold out. Hey, maybe I could go for a Speciale Aperta. Yes, the last Montezemolo Ferrari sounds collectible enough for me. But wait, what if Montezemolo goes into politics as rumored, now that he's left Maranello? Maybe he won't do the right thing, his reputation will be affected and the value of the car will drop.

OK, so I'll buy a 918. Hmm... those are sold out too. Fine, fine, I'll get a P1. Still, I can't do that. The desk I'm using to write this piece now is cluttered, so I'll never be able to get along with a car built by people who believe this is a sign of a cluttered mind. I'm not kidding, this is McLaren's philosophy.

I'm a bit confused right now. And I know one thing - when in doubt, buy a car from a company that's Number One. Volkswagen is #1, so perhaps I should scan the Group's portfolio deeper. But the VW Group has a big problem.

You just need to check out Audi and Bentley to understand. Let’s take the Bentley Mulsanne Cabriolet (they call it the Grand Convertible), for instance. Wolfgang Durheimer, the current Bentley CEO, had dreamed of this project for years. But then the constant executive shuffling within the VW Group saw the man being moved to Audi.

Wolfgang Schreiber, who replaced Durheimer, scrapped the plan, but when Durheimer returned as Bentley and Bugatti CEO, the idea of an open-top Mulsanne was revived.

The negative effect of the combined management permutations that have come to characterize the VW Group is just as much of a problem as the waves created in Ferdinand Piech’s step down. In fact, this is a side effect typical for business behemoths. We’re talking about a phenomenon that has made GM lose the Number One spot in front of Toyota, which, in turn, was forced to give it to VW. Wait, now I’m really puzzled.

I can’t invest in a car in such conditions. I need to think this through some more, so we’ll get in touch again with the next episode of my Driving Disorder. Being wealthy is harder than you think.
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About the author: Andrei Tutu
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In his quest to bring you the most impressive automotive creations, Andrei relies on learning as a superpower. There's quite a bit of room in the garage that is this aficionado's heart, so factory-condition classics and widebody contraptions with turbos poking through the hood can peacefully coexist.
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