"Absolute Piece of Excrement" MINI Cooper S Selling for 99 Pence on E-Bay

MINI Cooper S on e-Bay 1 photo
Photo: Screenshot from e-Bay
The moment you buy a car should be one filled with joy, but if you allow yourself to get carried away with excitement, you might end up with an "absolute piece of excrement" on your hands.
40-year-old Rachel Young from Darlington, Durham, UK makes herself guilty of this. She bought a 2004 MINI Cooper S for an undisclosed fee earlier this year, but after just 12 hours of owning the vehicle, it broke down. And not your usual "just turn the key one more time and it'll start" kind of affair. Nope. It had a blown head gasket. From then on, things just continued to get worse, until Rachel said "enough" and decided to put the car up for sale on e-Bay.

Talking about the sporty little hatch, she says that during the two months of ownership, the car broke down six times, spending more time in the shops than on her driveway and needing "half of its parts replaced." Not only that, but the total cost of repairs rose to the sum of 1,600 GBP ($2,300). But despite the whole it left in the budget, Rachel was ready to make it even deeper by listing the car on the auctioning website for 0.99 GBP. She says she was so upset with the damn thing, she would have happily taken 200 pounds for the MINI just so she wouldn't see it anymore.

To her surprise, the angry and surprisingly honest listing on the website got her over 150,000 views in five days and no less than 70 bids. For an ad ending with "any questions will be greeted through gritted teeth and angered responses!!!" Rachel sure received more attention than she had bargained for. Not only did she receive over 200 messages and even a marriage proposal but the price of her car has now reached 6,900 GBP ($10,000), which is surely more than a MINI Cooper S from 2004 is worth.

On the other hand, the car is virtually new thanks to all the work put in by the mechanics and Rachel's cash, so it should be a safe buy. Rachel herself admits it: "On the plus side there is not one bit of it that can now possibly break so in the car world is now classed as reliable," but she says their relationship is beyond repair. Talking to the Mirror, she declares (in what we can only imagine was a very angry tone), "When I open the door to get in it, I just want to kick it. So I just listed it on eBay to get rid of it as quick as I could."

You shouldn't be surprised to find out Rachel works in communication, which would explain her well-written ad that is certainly at fault for at least half of those messages (and 100% for the marriage proposal). So is this a trap set by an individual skilled in the use of words? Hard to believe anyone could simulate pure anger so convincingly.

The full description:

"Here is for sale my Mini Cooper S (Satan) be under no illusion I hate it! It has caused me more issues than the entire breakdown of my marriage and that was up there with life's travestys!

I had it ONE day in fact within an hour of driving it it blew up! Had to be towed the entire lifetime of my drive back to find the head gasket had blown! The garage then took 11 days to fix it in which I was given a courtesy car from 1974 that drove backwards! I had it back 45 whole minutes and off it went again this time the radiator and the piston rings had gone... 9 days later I'm back in my little metal delight obviously on its best behaviour as I'd just shelled out a grand for it!

Yesterday my non diesel monstrosity was making a lovely sound like a diesel only it's not! The plungy thing on the timing thing has gone so it's fixed yippee but hell bent on giving me a nervous breakdown this morning rev'd up to the same noise whilst also losing water! The garage tell my blondeness this is what minis do and the sound of a steam train I'm told is cool!!! So the whole timing kit is now fitted along with something else I can't be arsed to look in my messages to find out what but it's fixed! It'll be fixed tomorrow £200 thanks!
Unfortunately our relationship is over the trust has gone I feel nothing but anger and resentment! I cannot put into words how much I hate this piece of shit, I'd rather have a limb off or my mentally unstable ex husband back than drive this arsehole a second longer...

If you want it have it it's awful but on the plus side there is not one bit of it that can now possibly break so in the car world is now classed as reliable in all honesty I'd rather have thrush but take a look, any questions will be greeted through gritted teeth and angered responses!!!

Happy Bidding"
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About the author: Vlad Mitrache
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"Boy meets car, boy loves car, boy gets journalism degree and starts job writing and editing at a car magazine" - 5/5. (Vlad Mitrache if he was a movie)
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