"I arrived at about 11:28pm and observed a silver parked in the eastbound lane about one half mile east of Miller Ave with the vehicle's flashers on. I approached the vehicle and met with the driver Mary. Mary had blood shot eyes and I could smell the strong odor of an intoxicating beverage in her breath. Mary told me "I called in, I'm drunk. Mary said she had began drinking earlier in the day and drank seven or eight brandy and cokes at different bars in Neillsville and stopped drinking about thirty minutes before she called the Sheriff's Department."
Mary's conversation with the dispatcher is even funnier than the policeman's report:
Dispatcher: Clark County 911
Mary Strey: Somebody's really drunk driving down Granton Road...
Dispatcher: ...Which way are they going?
Mary Strey: They are going, um...
Dispatcher: Towards Granton or towards Neillsville?
Mary Strey: Towards Granton
Dispatcher: Okay are you behind them, or...
Mary Strey: No, I am them
Dispatcher: You am them?
Mary Strey: Yes, I am them
Dispatcher: Okay, so you want to call and report that you're driving drunk?
Mary Strey: Yes
The woman pulled over as soon as a police car got behind her and the officer asked her to stop. She accepted to take a “field sobriety test” and she failed, so the police was forced to arrest her. If you have any doubts that this actually happened, take a look at the arresting officer’s report, in the PDF attached below.