Why Banning Umbrella Girls Sucks

You've probably already read one or two pieces on the recent FIA decisions on the fate of the umbrella girls. Here are my two cents in this matter and summing up all the ideas that will follow, I'd add that I really hope this stupid idea will remain an attribute of the car racing scene, only.
The social media has been littered with all sorts of comments on this matter, and frankly, I was so disappointed to see that the most vocal fellows are those who support dumb concepts such as political correctness and are always ready to make a big fuss out of a non-issue.

This editorial may also contain traces of ranting and sarcasm, and if anyone feels insulted, that's just too bad.

Why "Stop the inequity" is a false slogan

First of all, I am so damn sick of all those who are only willing to spot a problem where there is none. The presence of the umbrella girls has nothing to do with gender inequity, whether you like it or not. It just doesn't, period.

It's you hypocrites who try to make the world think it does, but in reality it doesn't. No race organizer and promoter is ever thinking about using girls with good-looking, fit bodies because they are women. Or weaker, or dumber, or anything.

They are casting these models into the big racing picture because their presence makes everything look better. Surely, in certain cases, some of these ladies are maybe dressed a tad too provocatively, but this is the exception and not the rule.

If you find jumpsuits in a team's livery colors inappropriate, it only seems natural that you should also regard riding a bike at 220 mph equally inappropriate. And while motorcycle racing IS INDEED extreme in so many ways, these ladies' outfits are nothing near extreme.

I've published dozens of grid girls photo galleries and never met a single picture to deem as inappropriate for public viewing.

No porn there, nothing even remotely related to what we often see in the music videos certain multi-million "artists" broadcast during the daytime. A more generous cleavage sometimes and a skirt a few inches shorter than what we can see on any spring day on the sidewalk.

Good-looking lassies, some of them not even exactly beautiful, but, all in all, eye candy for riders, other team members and for most of the males in attendance, definitely. On the track and strolling around the paddock because, once more, they look nice, and not because they are women.

Why "Stop objectifying women" is a false pretense

Those clamoring over the "objectifying" subject should pick their pitchforks and torches and lay siege on TV stations, creative agencies, and glossy magazines headquarters. Before trying to spread this type of misleading ideas, you'd better look closely at those who are the real masters of the objectifying game.

Tend to the media (TV, internet and print) your kids are exposed to countless hours every day and leave motorcycle racing alone. It only happens during weekends and even so, your kids aren't watching ALL bike races around the year. Condemning the presence of umbrella girls as one of the factors which negatively impact your offspring's raise is only one more reason for you to shut your pie hole.

Umbrella girls are not slaves and they sign the contracts for racing series because this is one of the things they can, and they WANT to do. Again, regardless of whether you agree with me (or them, for what's worth) or not, this is their JOB.

They are getting paid to become a billboard for the team, a team's or a round's title sponsor, and they know this. There is nothing shameful in doing so, even though some misguided fellows, including hardcore feminists, say this job is humiliating.

Want some examples or really nasty examples that show how things should NOT be for a woman? How about getting paid minimum wage as a cashier? How about women forced to work in various harsh conditions or environments for the same minimum wage? And how about a mother who has to take her third job and work herself out just to be able to provide for her children?

Don't you think there is a ton of REAL cases when a woman is being treated in an unfair way, cases where your involvement could REALLY make a difference? Motorcycle racing is not Red Light district and porn mafia land.

Why don't you ask for a ban on cheerleaders?

This question is extremely funny, if a bit dumb, most likely because it's one of the weapons in Captain Obvious' arsenal. If grid girls are such a negative idea, how could folks like those who want to see them banned have missed cheerleaders, for crying out loud?

If anything, cheerleaders are even more hellish creatures because they also dance and jump around. And almost all of them have to have a generous, sporty bust. And even worse, you can see under their skirts as they perform! Who gives a damn that they are wearing a type of uniform, just like grid girls?

And I just don't take enough time to enumerate other sports that involve women in a way or another, and which could fall under the same mindless ban.

And would you just please stop that lousy "let the sport evolve into the 21st century" claim?

Speaking about banning grid girls from the World Endurance Championship, WEC chief executive Gerard Neveu told Reuters, "for me that is the past. The condition of women is a little bit different now." If you follow the link, you'll also get plenty of similar nonsense. I fail bitterly at understanding where this BS comes from. To me, it feels like seeing Ozzy Osbourne in a PSA asking teenagers to be conformist and politically correct.

What should evolve is the way people think and understand society. Going all excessively and completely unnecessarily coyly in such a matter is a sign that society is in fact heading the exact opposite way of evolution.

Just to make sure you don't get me wrong: I am not advocating having grid girls dressed in minuscule bikinis. I am not for adding "slutty" to "sporty", but trying to say that social patterns of the 18th or 19th century represent evolving into the 21st century is EVIL.

The exact same thing can be spotted in multiple other aspects of the social life, and it's surprising to see how people don't react. Labelling "retrograde" as "progressive" reminds me of George Carlin's rant on old people who are referred to as "90 years young."

I'm not even sorry to say it, but some people ARE retrograde. And they will always make efforts to find something that could pass as "reasonable" according to their standards against the most common of things, such as the brolly girls.

It's up to us to voice our opinion and counteract their political correctness and so-called "evolution into the 21st century."

Ladies and gentlemen who value the good looks of a starting grid in motorcycle racing, it's time to fight this pseudo-evolution and make a move! Let our voices be heard in saying that we DO love the classy umbrella girls, and they DO make sporting events nicer.

As for the brolly girls themselves, thank you, sweet ladies!

EDIT: Anti-grid girl champs, maybe you can try your luck this to Adriana Stoner, Casey's wife and former brolly girl...
If you liked the article, please follow us:  Google News icon Google News Youtube Instagram

Would you like AUTOEVOLUTION to send you notifications?

You will only receive our top stories