If Iceland Made Cars, They Would Be Cooler Than Ferraris and Porsches

I know that I'm probably not the only one who has always wondered why Greenland is full of ice and Iceland is as green as jealousy.
Iceland Scenery 1 photo
Photo: jackmac34/pixabay
That said, it is not the subject that I want to discuss, especially since I don't actually buy all that Eric The Red folklore.

No, what I want to discuss is Iceland itself, and the amazingly awesome people that reside in the most scantily populated country in Europe.

This is actually a pretty important detail when it comes to the Nordic country, since Iceland not only has a small population, but the 332,000 residents are spread on a 103,000 sq km (40,000 sq mi) area. Over a third of the population resides in the country's capital, Reykjavik.

Some of you may already be aware that there's this thing called Euro 2016 going on right now in France, where 24 football/soccer teams compete against each other to win what is probably the biggest European sports tournament.

The 2016 edition represents the first time that Iceland has qualified, and also the first time when a newcomer and underdog team has managed to push England out of the competition, thus reaching the quarterfinals. For those who don't follow association football, England is the country where the modern version of the sport was actually invented, so this is kind of a big deal.

To make matters clear from the start, I almost never watch football/soccer, despite being the most popular sport on the planet, so I won't hold it against you if you're already starting to question why on Earth I am covering this subject. Don't worry, I'll get there.

First, I should probably give you more context to Iceland's victory over England. The Brits were being coached by Roy Hodgson, who has managed no less than sixteen football teams in eight countries with a more than reasonable success. England's national team consisted of some of the best-paid players in the sport.

On the other hand, one of Iceland's head coaches is a former dentist. When it comes to the players, let's just say that there are more active volcanoes in Iceland than football players in the national team, including reserves. On top of it, no less than 8 percent of the entire country's population flew to France to cheer the national football team, a fact that is probably a record in itself.

Heck, Iceland's sheep population is almost twice as large as the human population, and sheep were introduced only a few hundred years ago on the island.

In short, even if it doesn't beat France in the upcoming quarterfinals, Iceland has already proven that when it sets its mind to something, it will most likely succeed. Icelanders are currently the ultimate European underdogs, and this has given me a weird idea. What if Iceland made cars? What would they be like?

Considering that much of the landscape is rather rural, there aren't that many roads that could pass as a high-speed highway, but the closest thing to that is the Route 1, also known as the Ring Road. It's a 1,332 km (828 miles) national road that literally runs around the entire country, connecting some of the most important towns and cities.

Most of the land is filled with volcanic ash, green pastures and the occasional glacier and geyser, meaning that Iceland's first car would most definitely need to be a fancy looking sports car. Since it's a bit cold for a convertible, a sports car with a panoramic roof, through which you would get to gaze in awe at the awesome scenery and the Northern Lights during the night.

A decent amount of horsepower and torque would also be required, along with some clever aerodynamics, but not for outright speed, since the limits are pretty low in Iceland, not to mention that there are lots of sheep, horses and reindeer unexpectedly crossing the roads. The latter means that the car's handling would need to be top notch, so all-wheel-drive and all-wheel steering, along with the clever aerodynamics mentioned before would be a given as well.

It would probably have a Viking name like Valkyrie GT or Thor Hraði (“speed” in Icelandic,ed), and apart from its on-road prowess, it should also handle well off-road, something that not many modern vehicles are good at if any.

Considering that Iceland is volcanic, and there is widespread availability of geothermal power and hydroelectricity, the car would need to be green but also seriously badass at the same time. In other words, an electric off-road supercar would probably work just fine, especially if it would accelerate faster than a Tesla Model S in Ludicrous mode.

In conclusion, Iceland's first car would probably look like a modern version of the Mega Track, an obscure French uber-crossover that was powered by a Mercedes-Benz V12, but with a panoramic roof, AWD, and electric power. Something like a bubble-roofed Bugatti Chiron that doesn't run on dinosaur juice.

Oh, and since it's electric, ergo silent, an exterior sound system should play that “Viking war chant,” which Iceland's national football team borrowed from the Scots at Motherwell, whenever it's waiting for the green light at an intersection. Now, since Iceland only has 120 professional football players, including the 20-something that you can see below chanting like they are about to burn down a village, imagine what 120 automotive engineers and designers would create if given the freedom and money to do it.

These Vikings beat England, pushing it out of the Euro zone for the second time in a week, I bet they would school any engineer at Ferrari or Porsche like there's no tomorrow when it comes to heart and the guts to create something great with minimal resources. Iceland represents the true definition of a dark horse in football, why not be the same when it comes to cars?

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About the author: Alex Oagana
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Alex handled his first real steering wheel at the age of five (on a field) and started practicing "Scandinavian Flicks" at 14 (on non-public gravel roads). Following his time at the University of Journalism, he landed his first real job at the local franchise of Top Gear magazine a few years before Mircea (Panait). Not long after, Alex entered the New Media realm with the project.
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