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A “kids, don’t watch porn while driving” warning seems mandatory here, but it looks like one targeting 58-year-olds is needed as well. Who would have thought?
I believe it was the movie “Bucket List” where Jack Nicholson’s character issued the wonderful law of seniority that said “never waste an erection.” The screenplay writers didn’t see fit to add a footnote disclaimer stating that maybe it should be ignored if you are driving and don’t feel like pulling over, and you can’t really blame them. When you’re already halfway through your life, some things should have become common sense by now.
But as we all know, what’s common sense with your pants on suddenly loses this quality once they come off, and the 58-year-old driving his Toyota on the I-75 was finding himself in the latter situation.
CBS Detroit reports that police was alerted to a fatal accident on the I-75 during the early hours of last Sunday. At around 3:30 a.m., a 1996 Toyota was being driven by Detroit resident Clifford Ray Jones when the car lost control and rolled over, which caused the driver to be thrown out the window. He subsequently died, but fortunately, no other cars were involved.
The thing that flagged this incident as being a bit weird was that Mr. Jones appeared to have had his pants off, while also grasping a phone in his hand that ran a pornographic movie. You don’t need to be a detective to piece things together in this case.
Of course, this opens up a new chapter in the book of accidents caused by driver inattention. Gone are the usual putting on makeup, reaching for the kids in the back or for that elusive peanut that fell into the footwell on its way from the bag to your mouth, and in comes porn-induced masturbation. So grandma was right, after all: choking the chicken can actually kill you.
But as we all know, what’s common sense with your pants on suddenly loses this quality once they come off, and the 58-year-old driving his Toyota on the I-75 was finding himself in the latter situation.
CBS Detroit reports that police was alerted to a fatal accident on the I-75 during the early hours of last Sunday. At around 3:30 a.m., a 1996 Toyota was being driven by Detroit resident Clifford Ray Jones when the car lost control and rolled over, which caused the driver to be thrown out the window. He subsequently died, but fortunately, no other cars were involved.
The thing that flagged this incident as being a bit weird was that Mr. Jones appeared to have had his pants off, while also grasping a phone in his hand that ran a pornographic movie. You don’t need to be a detective to piece things together in this case.
Of course, this opens up a new chapter in the book of accidents caused by driver inattention. Gone are the usual putting on makeup, reaching for the kids in the back or for that elusive peanut that fell into the footwell on its way from the bag to your mouth, and in comes porn-induced masturbation. So grandma was right, after all: choking the chicken can actually kill you.
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