Why Speeding Tickets in an Exotic Car Are Cool

What’s up everybody! It’s time to read some nonsense you’ve never thought about but actually makes perfect sense once you try to wrap your circuits around it. Once again, I’ll try to bridge that evident mental gap between the guy that saving up his pennies to buy his favorite car… from the 90s and the man living the dream to the fullest. This time it’s all about the mentality - breathing and living the supercar, not just admiring it from a safe distance.
It’s a helluva life some people out there live, lemmetellya! In a Coverstory from late last year, I told you about the sort of cars you should buy if you’ve won the lottery, taking a “let’s not be ostentatious” approach that seemed to make sense at the time. However, autoevolution doesn’t want to alienate the other 90% of supercar buyers that do actually want to be insulting and vulgar to the lesser people of the world. You know… the Russian that pulls a gun on you in traffic.

What’s a good way to act if you want to enjoy getting in people’s way? Well, how about driving like lunatic, parking your car where you shouldn’t or making too much noise. And yes I know that’s not the way to get into heaven, but shouldn’t discourage the super-rich from their “look at me, I’m so much better than you” ways… after all, you only live once!

Let’s take Monaco for example, a place where the uber-rich rub shoulders with the hyper-rich and compete for attention. Of course, the F1 venue is also a prime tourist destination where people go to tan their… back and empty their wallets. So it’s a good place to scare the poor people with the rousing sound of say an Aston Martin DBS. Yes, you heard me right - I said scare people with a DBS. You’re going straight to hell for that and you’ll be forced to drive a Lada there, but even though you’re ashamed of what you did, your friends will all laugh at the story of you scaring some supermodels on high heels. It’s good, honest fun!

Also worth doing if you want to live like a rock star is buying an exotic with a bright paintjob and parking it on the sidewalk right next to the lounge seat where you’re drinking your morning coffee. Get something in bright yellow or green that has a stupid name like “ultranium green” or “adamantium yellow”. Sexy? Yes! Expensive? Yes! Chick magnet? Only if they’re into that sort of thing, but you don’t need to care about that.

While we’re on the subject, let’s try to figure out what the best car for getting people’s attention focused on hating you. Through careful scientific deliberation and two pints of Guinness, the team here at autoevolution has deduced that in 75% of situations, no roof is better than a roof.

If you want people to hate you, an Audi R8 V10 Spyder is much better than the coupe since they can also see your face. If you’re in a millionaire hotspot like Los Angeles, Miami, Dubai or London, you can’t have a simple BMW, Jaguar or Lexus, not even a Mercedes unless it’s an SLR or SLS, and even then you’re not safe from being trumped by a guy in a simple 911 GT3 in bright green.

In places like this, people with Bentleys and Rolls Royces are just around the corner, and even normal folks have heard that you can rent one of these exotics to show off, so they won’t be impressed. But you can’t go wrong with a bright yellow or green car as long as it’s loud enough to start alarms.

Which brings me to the title of the story. Why is getting a speeding ticket in a supercar good? I hope that you’ll completely agree with this: seeing a tabloid title like “Rich Douch Gets Speeding Ticket in his $2 Million Bugatti” will annoy the heck out of you because it shows he just dousing care about the “normal people” rules and laws.

In this world, the Nurburgring lap times and 0.01 seconds don’t matter. What’s more, if you’re rich enough to afford an exotic car, then you realize that character has no place in capitalism, and the same goes for ethics. Sorry to say this!
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About the author: Mihnea Radu
Mihnea Radu profile photo

Mihnea's favorite cars have already been built, the so-called modern classics from the '80s and '90s. He also loves local car culture from all over the world, so don't be surprised to see him getting excited about weird Japanese imports, low-rider VWs out of Germany, replicas from Russia or LS swaps down in Florida.
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