Top 10 Classic Car Features We Need For 2022

The future we were promised is slipping from our grasp. Join us in standing up to the bean counters with this list of demands that can no longer be compromised! Notice to all automakers: We will gladly trade AM radio and heated steering wheels for anything on this list.

Stealth Mode

Pontiac was the first American brand to embrace Heads-Up-Display by projecting critical info onto the windshield. What set it apart was Stealth Mode. Tapping this button powered down the gauges, followed by the infotainment and the Driver’s Information LED screen. All interior lights (even the pinholes in the door panels) faded out, leaving the HUD as the only illumination. Make night driving great again!

Surround Sound

Ford changed the nature of car audio in the 70s. “Quadrasonic” sound was made possible by collaborating with popular record labels. A sound stage was built to replicate a car interior while engineers re-mixed master tracks to offer an experience unlike any other. This could easily be done today given the amount of digital processing power in every new car.

2nd Gear Start

Sometimes, having a powerful car is a detriment. Before every automatic transmission had shift paddles, many cars had the option to start in 2nd. Spinning tires are easily abated by traction control, but some of these systems will leave you stranded when they are confused. Not that I would ever do this, but it also allows loud cars to make a clandestine exit after midnight.

Rear Steering

Every automaker has offered this at some point. Navigating concrete canyons is much easier with a tighter turning radius. Early systems were hydraulic, with dedicated computers, pumps, and a hefty weight penalty. Electronic servos have allowed exotics to resurrect it for their top models, but what about the rest of us?

Onboard Diagnostics

Before 1996, a paperclip could be used to read your car’s Check Engine Light. Knowing what’s wrong with your car is the basis for the “Right is To Repair” legislation that’s before the Supreme Court. The service department is the biggest moneymaker for all automakers, so they hate the idea of us fixing our cars. But back in the 80’s GM had a touchscreen that had menus for audio, climate control and engine diagnostics. Even the C5 Corvette had a cheat-code to tell you what’s wrong. We shouldn’t be forced to buy expensive software or pay a dealer to know what’s going on.

Tissue Box

Laughing, crying, and sneezing all take place in the driver’s seat. Even looking at a napkin will cause it to fly out the windows, so back in 1957 Chevy offered a chrome Kleenex dispenser that swiveled between the front seats. It also hid behind the dash when not needed. Original examples go for big money, so why can’t we have them?

Crotch Vent

Modern climate control systems are truly amazing, but air vents are an afterthought. Here in Florida, lower body heat is the leading cause of Road Rage. Your feet don’t care, they are too busy with pedals. Lower dash vents equalize the temperature inside the cockpit without reminding you to vacuum the carpet before Christmas.

Air Suspension

Coil springs cost a few dollars, but airbags are only a few more. If you have ever ridden in a car with air ride, you realize how comfortable and capable the system is. The technology has been perfected for years by tractor-trailers and the aftermarket, so why isn’t it an option for everyone? Until then, Ridetech has what you need.

Flameout Ashtray

Smoking in your car will leave you and the interior smelling like a homeless shelter. Cigarette butts are universally hated, so that’s why Chevrolet used engine vacuum to solve the problem. A chromed cigarette holder sucked in burning embers and smoke, sending them into the engine. When you were done, tapping the button would suck the butt into a glass jar to be cleaned out every few months. With America finally legalizing other herbal remedies, your engine might relax when it gets these vapors. This doesn’t apply to WRX fans, vaping is still not cool.

TPMS Batteries

Many of Thomas Edison’s original lightbulbs are still burning. NASA launched Voyager 2 in 1977, and it still calls home from across 12 billion miles. Why can’t we have TPMS sensors that last the life of the car? Hell, you are lucky that they work while the car is still under warranty. Traction and stability control won’t work in Cadillacs unless all 4 sensors are talking, and that only happens during leap years.


Ok, I needed to get that off my chest. Tell us what options you want resurrected and stay with us for more automotive insights.