autoevolution
 

This BMW M3 Touring Rendering Puts the 'Ring in Touring

Paraphilias are not the kind of subject you learn about in school or during an evening dinner with your family. Some people may even go about their entire lives without knowing what a paraphilic disorder is or that they suffer from one because every person defines their normality.
BMW M3 Touring rendering 3 photos
Photo: Chia Yiliao on Instagram
BMW M3 Touring renderingBMW M3 Touring rendering
I wouldn't go as far as to say Chia Yiliao has a condition that falls between these brackets, but they certainly do like their touring models. Have a look at their Instagram page and you'll see what I mean. But beware: it's very much contagious because these are not your ordinary station wagons.

No, they are the automotive equivalent of a possessed top-level athlete. They are svelte and bulky at the same time, but also aggressive and altogether ominous. Would you like to drive one? Sure. Just remember to take your mother's crucifix and you should be alright.

There's no need to bring your family, and not because there aren't enough crosses to go around, but because they wouldn't really fit. You see, this transformation has made the once spacious tourer rather useless in the people and baggage hauling department. Take this BMW M3 Touring for example. Good luck fitting a child seat through that rear door, let alone an actual child. And prey they inherit the gene of your midget great uncle because there's not that much headroom either.

The trunk is a bit of a joke too, so no stops at IKEA for anything other than Swedish meatballs. But none of these things matter because unlike an actual wagon, you wouldn't buy this car for its practicality, but its looks. Yes, it's like the bizarro world, a place where things work the other way around, and even though you might have a little trouble getting home considering left is now right, one look at this BMW M3 Touring and it's all suddenly worth it.

Now imagine yourself back in our world, kids at home doing whatever they like to do these days, tank full, a new set of performance tires, and a street sign up ahead saying "Nürburgring, 10 Km." Sure, you could have just as much fun with a regular sporty coupe like the BMW M4, but then you wouldn't be the guy driving a BMW M3 Touring on the 'Ring.
If you liked the article, please follow us:  Google News icon Google News Youtube Instagram X (Twitter)
About the author: Vlad Mitrache
Vlad Mitrache profile photo

"Boy meets car, boy loves car, boy gets journalism degree and starts job writing and editing at a car magazine" - 5/5. (Vlad Mitrache if he was a movie)
Full profile

 

Would you like AUTOEVOLUTION to send you notifications?

You will only receive our top stories