autoevolution
 

The Judgemental Uber Guy

For the past ten years or so, I’ve gotten used to the idea that some guy I don’t know and will never meet knows everything there is to know about me.
Uber to put labels on its customers 1 photo
Photo: livingontarget127.com
He watches everything I watch, he knows everything I am about to type as I am writing this, he knows what I love and hate, where I work, where I live, what I’m planning to buy over the next few years.

He’s, of course, the guy that has access to my online persona, a guy from Cambridge Analytica perhaps, who pieces together bits after bits of data about me, taken with or without my consent by software and hardware alike.

I know he’s there, but I don’t care. I don’t even care if he’s a flesh and blood guy or an artificial intelligence one. And I kinda like being served the proper advertisement at the precise time I am in the market for a tool or toy.

I don’t care because, you see, that guy doesn’t judge me. He doesn’t mind that I like the color blue, I drink Coke instead of water, or drive with no hands on the steering wheel. He doesn’t mind I like whiskey more than vodka, women more than men or soccer more than football. He doesn’t give a damn.

The problem is there’s another guy looming on the horizon. It is not the Facebook/Google/Cambridge/Huawei/ZTE guy I am used to. This one is the Uber guy. And the Uber guy will judge and spit me out like old chewing gum.

You see, the Uber guy will try and detect if I’m drunk. If I am, he’ll tell the Uber driver who was destined to take me home after a long night out what a lowlife I am. And the Uber driver can tell me in a polite tone, via an app, to f**k off.

I learned about the conception of this new guy this past week. I’m not pretty sure when he will be born, but when he will, all hell would break loose.

This guy would use my phone and the Uber app to place all sorts of labels on me. He would use data to determine which way I am going and how fast. He will use it to see how fast I type. How many typographical errors I make. Even the angle at which I hold my phone when looking for a damn ride.

He will do all this, as I said, to determine whether I am drunk. Because if I am, that could spell trouble for Uber. What if I puke in the driver’s car? What if I pick a meaningless quarrel with him? What if I beat him senseless?

Uber said, when it filed for a patent with the USPTO, that there were cases when safety incidents and personal conflict incidents occurred because of drunk customers. It then goes on to add that these incidents have been rare.

So rare that it justifies investing a hefty sum into the development of the judgemental Uber guy?

Apart from being too lazy to drive, the only other reason I use Uber is that at times I get drunk. I’m sure that’s the case for many of you out there. And I’m sure Uber knows that.

Why then is it going to develop a technology that may deny it a good portion of the customer pie?

Why does the Uber guy need to know at what angle to I hold my phone when scrolling through their app? Or whether I am walking (and how fast) or standing still as I place the order?

What if the Uber guy turns into the Uber Eats guy? Would he deny me food because I am drunk?

Who’s to say the Uber guy won’t have access to this data even when the app is not on and use it to tell people if and when I get high, for instance?

Who’s to say the Uber guy won’t meet the other guy, the one I like, and spawn a rainbow-colored creature that’s worse than both of them combined?
If you liked the article, please follow us:  Google News icon Google News Youtube Instagram X (Twitter)
About the author: Daniel Patrascu
Daniel Patrascu profile photo

Daniel loves writing (or so he claims), and he uses this skill to offer readers a "behind the scenes" look at the automotive industry. He also enjoys talking about space exploration and robots, because in his view the only way forward for humanity is away from this planet, in metal bodies.
Full profile

 

Would you like AUTOEVOLUTION to send you notifications?

You will only receive our top stories