The Hoverboard Issue Is Reaching New Heights, God May Soon Get Involved

We’ll admit to not knowing the Philippines legislation concerning the so-called hoverboards, but that’s not really an issue here because the priest you’ll see in the clip at the bottom of this article did not run into trouble with the law. At least not the kind of law you and I abide by.

Instead, he was asked to take an undetermined leave of absence by the Diocese of San Pablo after appearing at the Christmas Eve Mass on top of a self-balancing personal transportation device.

So, what exactly does the Church regard as wrong here? Enjoying ourselves? Is it the opulence of showing up on a pretty expensive device that the people in the congregation can’t afford? But wasn’t that the Church’s thing all along? Weren’t churches the blingiest places on earth, full of gold and fancy clothes even back when their subjects barely had something to eat? Why the sudden change of mood?

Or maybe it’s the use of technology? Well, then why use the microphone? Why go for light bulbs instead of candles? Why have the Christmas lights on the wall? Why allow the priests to use a cell phone or drive a car? Why use hot water? Why go to the supermarket? Why do anything that a normal, 21st Century man does?

Or it was just a safety precaution on the Catholic Church’s part, but even that seems a little steep considering how many candles there usually are inside a church.

But enough guessing, as we actually have the answer. In a statement issued earlier, the Diocese of San Pablo, Laguna, quoted by Rappler, explains its decision: “The Eucharist demands utmost respect and reverence. It is the Memorial of the Lord’s Sacrifice. It is the source and summit of Christian life,” it read. “[The Mass] is the Church’s highest form of worship. Consequently, it is not a personal celebration where one can capriciously introduce something to get the attention of the people.”

So there you have it, explained with the simplest of words by the Church itself so even the most uneducated of its subjects could very easily understand what it’s all about.

To end on a more positive note, just imagine if his robe were just that little bit longer, enough to cover the hoverboard whole - now that would have made for a much better video. Or if the priest was wearing a cape that would flutter as he rode at speed on the aisle. Come on, Father, if you’re going to break the unwritten laws of Church, at least do it right next time.