Photo: Stellantis
You may forget how many brands can fit under the Stellantis umbrella until you see them listed one after the other. Or, you know, you ask Google, and you find out there's 14 of them.
Just in case you missed it and you have no idea what we're talking about, Stellantis is the conglomerate that resulted after the fusion between the FCA (Fiat Chrysler Automobiles) and the PSA Group at the start of this year. As a result, Stellantis now has one of the largest and probably the most varied selection of brands, ranging from the all-American Jeep to the exclusive Italians at Maserati and the sophisticated French DS Automobiles.
Three down, eleven to go.
Stellantis is currently busy presenting its plans for electrification, and since there seems to be a correlated effort across its entire collection of brands, it decided to hold an "EV Day" where its entire strategy for the coming years would be revealed. Well, that EV Day was today and if we were to sum things up, we'd say that 2024 is going to be a very important year for the company from an electric powertrain point of view.
Some brands are already more advanced than others with Peugeot, for instance, offering a few reasonably competitive BEV models and Fiat deciding to follow smart's example and make its 500 sub-brand exclusively electric. Others, on the other hand, are severely deficient, and with the market moving quickly around them, they needed to respond or risk becoming irrelevant.
According to the company's higher-ups, the electrification effort will be sensed across Stellantis' entire brand lineup, but that shouldn't be interpreted as some sort of uniformization. To make it as clear as possible that each manufacturer will remain true to its legacy, Stellantis gave all fourteen of them its own little EV-related tagline. Needless to say, some of them are funny, others are cheesy, and some are downright embarrassing. We'll go over them one by one.
Abarth – “Heating Up People, But Not the Planet." Well, heating the planet is definitely to be avoided, but how is heating up people any better? That's called a fever in medical terms.
Alfa Romeo – “From 2024, Alfa Becomes Alfa e-Romeo.” We hope this is a figure of speech because otherwise, it's strangely reminiscent of the whole "Voltswagen" fiasco.
Chrysler - “Clean Technology for a New Generation of Families.” This one's a bit too descriptive, and also a bit discriminatory toward the older generations of families. Are they allowed access to clean technology too?
Citroën - “Citroën Electric: Well-Being for All!” That definitely has some French Revolution vibes about it, though it does sound like it's more suited as the slogan for a spa center or something.
Dodge - “Tear Up the Streets… Not the Planet.” Are we talking about the streets on the other planet because, technically, if you're tearing up the streets of this planet, you are therefore tearing up the planet as well? Just saying.
DS Automobiles - “The Art of Travel, Magnified." This one makes no sense, magnified.
Fiat - “It’s Only Green When It’s Green for All.” This one has a certain Alexandre Dumas and The Three Musketeers (one for all and all for one) air about it, which is entirely fitting since it's a French brand. Oh, wait.
Jeep® - “Zero Emission Freedom.” Are the other brands going to keep us captive? Because, if so, thank you for letting us know, we'll choose Jeep® instead.
Lancia - “The Most Elegant Way to Protect the Planet.” Since when was buying a car - any car - equivalent to protecting the planet? The most elegant way to do that is to dress up nicely and just... walk.
Maserati - “The Best in Performance Luxury, Electrified.” It looks like the creative team had run out of juice by the time they got to Maserati since they decided to simply add an "electrified" at the end of a generic brand description.
Opel/Vauxhall - “Green is the New Cool.” Tell that to the hordes of uncool people who are still racing their uncool V8 cars in those uncool drag racing events.
Peugeot - “Turning Sustainable Mobility into Quality Time.” Has Stellantis discovered how to make time, quality or otherwise? If it has, it should drop the whole car manufacturing business and just focus on making time instead.
Ram - “Built to Serve a Sustainable Planet.” Why serve it, when you can rule it? Ram should learn to aim a little higher.
Commercial vehicles - “The Global Leader in e-Commercial Vehicles.” That sounds more like a desiderate than anything else. Good luck, we guess?
Just in case you missed it and you have no idea what we're talking about, Stellantis is the conglomerate that resulted after the fusion between the FCA (Fiat Chrysler Automobiles) and the PSA Group at the start of this year. As a result, Stellantis now has one of the largest and probably the most varied selection of brands, ranging from the all-American Jeep to the exclusive Italians at Maserati and the sophisticated French DS Automobiles.
Three down, eleven to go.
Stellantis is currently busy presenting its plans for electrification, and since there seems to be a correlated effort across its entire collection of brands, it decided to hold an "EV Day" where its entire strategy for the coming years would be revealed. Well, that EV Day was today and if we were to sum things up, we'd say that 2024 is going to be a very important year for the company from an electric powertrain point of view.
Some brands are already more advanced than others with Peugeot, for instance, offering a few reasonably competitive BEV models and Fiat deciding to follow smart's example and make its 500 sub-brand exclusively electric. Others, on the other hand, are severely deficient, and with the market moving quickly around them, they needed to respond or risk becoming irrelevant.
According to the company's higher-ups, the electrification effort will be sensed across Stellantis' entire brand lineup, but that shouldn't be interpreted as some sort of uniformization. To make it as clear as possible that each manufacturer will remain true to its legacy, Stellantis gave all fourteen of them its own little EV-related tagline. Needless to say, some of them are funny, others are cheesy, and some are downright embarrassing. We'll go over them one by one.
Abarth – “Heating Up People, But Not the Planet." Well, heating the planet is definitely to be avoided, but how is heating up people any better? That's called a fever in medical terms.
Alfa Romeo – “From 2024, Alfa Becomes Alfa e-Romeo.” We hope this is a figure of speech because otherwise, it's strangely reminiscent of the whole "Voltswagen" fiasco.
Chrysler - “Clean Technology for a New Generation of Families.” This one's a bit too descriptive, and also a bit discriminatory toward the older generations of families. Are they allowed access to clean technology too?
Citroën - “Citroën Electric: Well-Being for All!” That definitely has some French Revolution vibes about it, though it does sound like it's more suited as the slogan for a spa center or something.
Dodge - “Tear Up the Streets… Not the Planet.” Are we talking about the streets on the other planet because, technically, if you're tearing up the streets of this planet, you are therefore tearing up the planet as well? Just saying.
DS Automobiles - “The Art of Travel, Magnified." This one makes no sense, magnified.
Fiat - “It’s Only Green When It’s Green for All.” This one has a certain Alexandre Dumas and The Three Musketeers (one for all and all for one) air about it, which is entirely fitting since it's a French brand. Oh, wait.
Jeep® - “Zero Emission Freedom.” Are the other brands going to keep us captive? Because, if so, thank you for letting us know, we'll choose Jeep® instead.
Lancia - “The Most Elegant Way to Protect the Planet.” Since when was buying a car - any car - equivalent to protecting the planet? The most elegant way to do that is to dress up nicely and just... walk.
Maserati - “The Best in Performance Luxury, Electrified.” It looks like the creative team had run out of juice by the time they got to Maserati since they decided to simply add an "electrified" at the end of a generic brand description.
Opel/Vauxhall - “Green is the New Cool.” Tell that to the hordes of uncool people who are still racing their uncool V8 cars in those uncool drag racing events.
Peugeot - “Turning Sustainable Mobility into Quality Time.” Has Stellantis discovered how to make time, quality or otherwise? If it has, it should drop the whole car manufacturing business and just focus on making time instead.
Ram - “Built to Serve a Sustainable Planet.” Why serve it, when you can rule it? Ram should learn to aim a little higher.
Commercial vehicles - “The Global Leader in e-Commercial Vehicles.” That sounds more like a desiderate than anything else. Good luck, we guess?
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