PETA Tried to Turn the Wienermobile Vegan, and You Can Imagine How That Went

PETA, you gotta love them for trying! The vegan non-profit almost everyone loves to hate is back in the headlines this week for a so-called offer to pay for a replacement of the catalytic converter stolen from the iconic Wienermobile and one year of maintenance, but only on one big condition. You’ll never guess what that condition was. Lol, just kidding, of course you will. This is PETA we’re talking about and their tactics are well-known by now.

The story goes back to last week, when one of the iconic Oscar Mayer Wienermobile vehicles was briefly rendered useless in Las Vegas, after thieves stole its catalytic converter during an overnight stay. We already knew thieves have no honor, but they seem to also have zero consideration towards one of the most iconic promotional vehicles in the United States.

The drama was short-lived, though. The Wienermobile was back on the road in less than 24 hours, as Oscar Mayer quickly made arrangements to replace the stolen part. The hold-up was so brief that news of the theft and of the replacement came out in the same news cycle. But PETA is clearly of the opinion that no drama is too insignificant to be used to turn attention to themselves, so here we are.

On Thursday, February 16, PETA announced that it had reached out to Oscar Mayer’s parent company, Kraft Heinz Company, with an offer of the “too good to turn down” kind, where they’d pay for the stolen catalytic converter and one year of parts and maintenance, on the condition that Oscar Mayer turn the Wienermobile into a vegan hot dog mobile. “A Not Dogmobile or something similar,” they said.

You will find PETA’s letter to Carlos Abrams-Rivera, the Executive VP and President of North America, below. It’s not unreasonable, at first glance. PETA points out that Oscar Mayer has already pledged to introduce more plant-based variants of its most popular products, and that the market for vegan replacements for meat products is ever-growing in the U.S., with estimates showing the upward trend will continue.

In other words, when so many people are choosing to go vegan for whatever reason and for whatever duration, why not give them a promotional vehicle they can relate to when they see it on the road? The Wienermobile could be that, PETA argues. It would promote a healthier lifestyle and healthier choices, which, as it so happens, would not involve the slaughter of highly intelligent and sensitive animals that we victimize because we’re guilty of “speciesm, a human-supremacy worldview.”

“Instead of slinging cancer-causing processed meat made from cows’ livers and pigs’ snouts, the Oscar Mayer NotDogMobile would dish up the delicious veggie dogs that today’s diners want,” PETA explained. “PETA would relish the opportunity to help Oscar Mayer ketchup with the booming vegan food market.”

No PETA statement without a pun or two, and the usual dash of gory details.

I’m all for cuddly animals and reducing meat consumption as much as possible (on health considerations, if not on considerations of the cuddlyness of said animals), but PETA’s extremist tactics always wear me out. I could even ignore the fact that the open letter came days after the actual theft, when the vehicle was back on the road, and the kind of public shaming PETA is trying to use to force change. But this re-writing of history, which I’d compare to what is happening right now with the re-writes of Roald Dahl’s books, is not cool.

The Wienermobile is a historic vehicle, of the kind you won’t find that many around these day. First introduced in 1936 in Chicago, it has seen several iterations and modifications over the years, and has legions of fans. Right now, Oscar Mayer has an entire fleet of promotional vehicles under the Wienermobile banner, and they literally bring happiness wherever they go.

I know the ability to change and adapt is essential to any company if they want to not look like they’re fighting progress, but where certain things are concerned – like historical vehicles, books, or art – there is no changing or adapting.

There is context and new beginnings, so maybe PETA would have been mocked less for its attempt to steal the spotlight if it had reached out in private to Oscar Mayer and proposed a new vehicle, or some form of collaboration to spread the word on how unhealthy processed meats in general, and hot dogs in particular, are. If you’ll indulge an oranges and apples comparison, you don’t see photos of Michelangelo’s David sculpture with clothes on because it offends the prude, so why should the Wienermobile get new, vegan branding to please a few?

Not that PETA actually hoped to accomplish anything besides getting some attention, but Oscar Mayer has “respectfully declined” the offer. Probably because the damage had already been fixed, and definitely because they wouldn’t let themselves strong-armed into silly “conversions.” “Giving people a variety of high-quality, delicious food options is important to us, and we have long offered many plant-based options,” the company adds in a statement.

There is room under the sun for all, whether they eat meat or plant-based.