Photo: Craigslist via imgur
It's no secret that early Vipers didn't come with an optional extra designed to kill their drivers. This feature was standard. However, when the owner of such a car fully spills the beans on the dangers of driving one in his Craigslist ad, we can't ignore it.
The ad, which has been removed (keyboard tip to Redditor MyMonte87 for the spotting) saw a 2001 Dodge Viper RT10 Roadster being offered for $29,999. While the low mileage (read: 11,400) would lead you to believe this was a monster deal, we also have to take the rebuilt title into account.
Nevertheless, with early Vipers being fairly easy to total, this doesn't necessarily mean the chassis was affected - just think of the fiberglass front clamshell and how easy it was to ruin it, even in the parking lot.
Regardless, we're here to talk about the way in which the owner of the car planned to lure customers in, so here are a few lines from the ad:
"Look, If you are the type of person that can be talked into having one more drink at midnight when you have a very important presentation or interview early the next morning, then the Viper is not for you. The whole car is constantly whispering sweet lies to you.
"You got this".
"Open me up and ride free, you got this"
"What are you a pussy?"
"Just do it", "Do it", "you got this".
Do not do it. You don't got it. You ARE in fact a pussy. And as we all know, pussy is mad good. But not that good. You will sit on the curb and settle your heart after it tries to kill you the first time. You will get back inside and it will immediately get back to the business of trying to get you to let it murder you.
"You got this. This time you know. That last time was just a fluke. You ain't no pussy".
Repeat after me.
You
Don't
Got
This.
But for $30k you can look the devil in the eye and take this ride,"
Regardless of the removed ad, perhaps the man should wait for 2017 to bring the end of Viper production before selling his car. As for keeping it, the guy makes things pretty clear in the ad: "I've driven Ferrari's that don't feel as crazy as this thing. I am frankly afraid of it now.That's right. It's in my garage and I'm afraid to drive it because it's like a crazy steroid bull that wants to kill me.I've done 130 mph on a Ducati while laughing into the face of death. The viper is a completely different bowl of crack. The engine sounds like 40 pit bulls eating kittens while lifting weights,"
For the record, we'll mention the current, Gen 5 Viper has nothing to do with the ill-tempered behavior of its predecessors. Sure, the 8.4-liter V10 machine is still a piece of inferno on wheels, but the Viper has become civilized enough to learn its driver is more valuable alive.
So, speaking of life and death, what killed the Viper? The official explanation has something to do with the A-pillars not being able to accommodate side airbags. But that's just one part of the problem. Truth be told, FCA couldn't afford a triumvirate of halo cars whose inevitably limited sales mean burning corporate cash. So while the Hellcats are alive and kicking, we can only hope a revival is on the table.
Nevertheless, with early Vipers being fairly easy to total, this doesn't necessarily mean the chassis was affected - just think of the fiberglass front clamshell and how easy it was to ruin it, even in the parking lot.
Regardless, we're here to talk about the way in which the owner of the car planned to lure customers in, so here are a few lines from the ad:
"Look, If you are the type of person that can be talked into having one more drink at midnight when you have a very important presentation or interview early the next morning, then the Viper is not for you. The whole car is constantly whispering sweet lies to you.
"You got this".
"Open me up and ride free, you got this"
"What are you a pussy?"
"Just do it", "Do it", "you got this".
Do not do it. You don't got it. You ARE in fact a pussy. And as we all know, pussy is mad good. But not that good. You will sit on the curb and settle your heart after it tries to kill you the first time. You will get back inside and it will immediately get back to the business of trying to get you to let it murder you.
"You got this. This time you know. That last time was just a fluke. You ain't no pussy".
Repeat after me.
You
Don't
Got
This.
But for $30k you can look the devil in the eye and take this ride,"
Regardless of the removed ad, perhaps the man should wait for 2017 to bring the end of Viper production before selling his car. As for keeping it, the guy makes things pretty clear in the ad: "I've driven Ferrari's that don't feel as crazy as this thing. I am frankly afraid of it now.That's right. It's in my garage and I'm afraid to drive it because it's like a crazy steroid bull that wants to kill me.I've done 130 mph on a Ducati while laughing into the face of death. The viper is a completely different bowl of crack. The engine sounds like 40 pit bulls eating kittens while lifting weights,"
For the record, we'll mention the current, Gen 5 Viper has nothing to do with the ill-tempered behavior of its predecessors. Sure, the 8.4-liter V10 machine is still a piece of inferno on wheels, but the Viper has become civilized enough to learn its driver is more valuable alive.
So, speaking of life and death, what killed the Viper? The official explanation has something to do with the A-pillars not being able to accommodate side airbags. But that's just one part of the problem. Truth be told, FCA couldn't afford a triumvirate of halo cars whose inevitably limited sales mean burning corporate cash. So while the Hellcats are alive and kicking, we can only hope a revival is on the table.
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