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No Reason to Hate Lamborghini's Super-SUV!

Lamborghini recently unveiled the Urus, which sounds like a skin disease you get from petting a bear, but is actually the first latest concept from Sant’Agata Bolognese’s latest idea for the future car. It’a an overweight, underpowered, ugly SUV, built just so Automobili Lamborghini S.p.A. can make a profit off the rich, bored, people in China and the Middle East.
We believe they should shut the Lamborghini factory immediately before they open a gate to hell with their heresy and lack of commitment to the brand! How dare they show a new vehicle in China, the land of communism and… buddhism.

We’re only kidding, because the Urus Concept is probably the best looking piece of metal in the world if you’re looking to buy the uber-SUV that nobody offers. Sure, you can pay a German tuner twice the price of a Range Rover or Cayenne or X5 M to get the interior and carbon fiber body you wanted from the start, but if I was sitting on that sort of money, the production Lambo SUV just couldn’t come fast enough.

Let’s face it: the only reason that Soudi Arabian prices have an SUV collection made up of Cayennes and G-Wagons is that Lamborghini hasn’t built their version yet.

Ugly? Not really! It seems to be a preconception that Lamborghinis of old are beautiful works of art, but I’d rather admire my electric razor than look at the Countach. In fact, most of the cars they built until the Diablo looked like combinations between a Ford Capri and a tractor. And then Chrysler helped… then Audi!
I’m not saying they weren’t striking in every way, but in the 21st century they look like old cars with cool badges, and I don’t mean that in a good way. The Urus concept has to be the first car they’ve ever built that actually looks like a raging bull with its strong shoulders and upright stance.

Speaking of bulls, why have they stopped naming cars after Spanish fighting bulls? If I were a stock trader, than I would know all about the market crash in 2008, which left me unable to buy the orange Gallardo Spyder I allays wanted. The next year, this cost Lamborghini about 1,000 sales, and they probably said to themselves “heck no, we’re not naming it after the bull!”

However, if you’re the sort of person who drinks cognac and eats caviar at parties, than the official version with ancient gods and demons probably makes a lot more sense, since you read a lot of mythological books.

And let’s talk owners for a second here. The typical Countach guy is a sort of Miami Vice real life impersonator - muscles, tight shit, fake tan… probably made a fortune selling “protection” to groceries stores and mom&pop shops. But a luxury SUV buyer is probably nothing like that, since he can’t show off his Gucci glasses and inch-thick gold chain if it’s not a convertible.

And yes, I know that the Urus is as big as a battleship, and those are 24-inch wheels they slapped onto the concept, but the rest of it is quite simple and elegant. No chrome, no extra exhaust sticking out the side, the engine is in the front like a normal car, and if you get a boring color it probably won’t even attract a crowd.

Right, so we’ve gotten the look out of the way, so it’s time to touch on the “overweight” and “underpowered” aspect. Lamborghini has promised to keep the bulk under two tons, and while that might not seem that impressive, you’ve got to remember this isn’t your average soccer mom’s car. Yet they’ve tried to redefined the word “sporty” within the SUV segment, having introduced a state-of-the-art carbon fiber reinforced polymer they’ve trademarked as Forged Composite for the interior.
They’ve built an entire road car, the Aventador, from the stuff, so lightness is an obsession for them, even to the point where it’s affecting the price. This could be the first Lambo in a long time that you can enjoy with the whole family.

Doest that make it a boring family car? 600 horsepower should answer your question, right! Well no, because any tuner can get that and more from a Porsche Cayenne Turbo, and I wouldn’t want to be the guy getting smoked by a car half the price. This is the only sticking point visible at this point. Lambo’s way has always been to offer a bit more power with a special edition or SuperVeloce model, yet that won’t work this time. The world is watching, and if they spot a loose thread in the stitching the whole thing will unravel.
The moment when something with a Jeep badge outperformed a Lambo is going to be sad indeed, and if they’re not careful in offering enough performance than it will happen.

If I had the money, I’d go to Lamborghini and put my deposit down right now just to make sure i get one in time. Sure, there will be haters out for SUV blood, but when you’re in a supercar, you are immune to criticism and such. When people see it, they won’t help it but let out a sigh of awe and outrage at the same time, and there aren’t many cars that will do that these days.

 
 
 
 
 

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