How big is too big a red Dodge?
How big is too big a Chrysler?
How big is too big the front bumper of a brand-new Jeep Wrangler?
Where do I find a perfectly-shaped brick caller Patriot?
Isn't a compass too small to carry your kid to kindergarden? I'm sorry, this is the only "how small is too small" question, but that is why the Compass was created.
How much ugly amorphous mass is required for the fit and finish of a Cherokee?
Yes, you've realized what this is about! It certainly isn't about cars. It's about the eternal question of the American car manufacturer: how small does it have to be in order to fit on an European road lane? That is the question!
Why on Earth would the European woman rather drive a Toyota piece of junk? Why the hell does this Russian gentleman drive a Mercedes-Benz barrel tuned by Brabus? Why doesn't any trophy wife climb into a smug PT Cruiser? That is actually the question. Too bad the American car manufacturers still invest in research by relying on the first question.
In order to save the world economy and to avoid (another) bankruptcy I will help them. I will supply the secret list of answerless questions that they can focus upon. I'm sure you will do the same and maybe fill it with some new ones maybe.
Why is that, when it comes to the safety chapter, there's a cutthroat red on a track with toy cars in the Dodge presentation?
Why do all American cars only have four airbags? And a curtain...
Why is the plastic on the center console looking like a plastic barrel bent with a strong punch after being cooled, ouch, too much? What about the exposed painted metal, what's that supposed to mean?
Why does a car which should irradiate strength has a center console which looks like a flower drawn by a military boots designer?
What purpose do those storage spaces above the front passenger's knees actually have, since at the slightest bump everything inside them will fall into your lap?
Why did you steal those gorgeous antique engines from the national museum? Maybe because you want to taint their memory?
How can you ask extra for ESP when you're manufacturing cars that are over two tonnes in weight? Not one customer will ever think that ESP isn't included when buying one.
Why do the seat adjusting handles for the seats look like a crane winch? Maybe that's what they actually are?
Why is it that in a car this big there's no room for having sex on the back seat?
For a neurotic person like me, your tire side walls are too small. That is the only answer, let's go back to the questions.
How much did you invest to make the least roomy luggage compartment in the largest car? Did anyone give you an award for it?
Is the only accessory that can be ordered on an American car a chrome lid for the gas tank? Wow! How opulent!
How on Earth can you mention the fact that it is not recommended to engage all-wheel drive on dry asphalt? We're talking about a car that can stroll around through the woods and dirt and almost every testing material out there.
I'm 16 years old and I got a beautiful car as a gift for my sweet sixteen. The million dollar question(s) are: how do I lock the front and rear axles and how do I unlock the stabilizer bar so I can give a good impression in the high-school parking lot? Secondly, what the heck are these things, do I have to take out the jack? What for, to break the skull of the people who gave it to me as a present?
Why did you destroy over 65 years of Wrangler styling with those gigantic bumpers that go around the car and don't even let you climb into it?
A modern woman who would buy a Wrangler would never appreciate the advice you're giving her. She doesn't want to hose down the seats covers with water. Can't you replace that with a soft material that can be cleaned ecologically at the nearest car wash?
What is the connection between a 300C and a turtle? Even the Teenage Mutant Turtles are crying!
Fire him!
Do 'merican cars have sound systems?
Mommy, mommy, who do you think it's the jackass who put rear-wheel drive on the 300C?
If we made a top of ugly cars, what place would a Sebring get?
I want to know the name of the person who managed to specify five different gadgets on an American car. He deserves a guide dog for the blind.
Mmyeah, I think this is also about savings. The American manufacturer wants to be big and thrifty. Too bad he's not sexy! Next!
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