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This Is the Ugliest, Oddest Car in the World: The 1979 Herzog Conte

There are times when "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is just a diplomatic way of saying that something is "so ugly that only a mother could love" it. The Herzog Conte car is one such thing: so ugly that it transcends our most basic understanding of the word and quite possibly becomes a thing of beauty.
The 1979 Herzog Conte Schwimmwagen, dubbed the world's ugliest car, lived a short and uneventful life but is now an icon 18 photos
Photo: Herzog brochure
The 1979 Herzog Conte Schwimmwagen, dubbed the world's ugliest car, lived a short and uneventful life but is now an iconThe 1979 Herzog Conte Schwimmwagen, dubbed the world's ugliest car, lived a short and uneventful life but is now an iconThe 1979 Herzog Conte Schwimmwagen, dubbed the world's ugliest car, lived a short and uneventful life but is now an iconThe 1979 Herzog Conte Schwimmwagen, dubbed the world's ugliest car, lived a short and uneventful life but is now an iconThe 1979 Herzog Conte Schwimmwagen, dubbed the world's ugliest car, lived a short and uneventful life but is now an iconThe 1979 Herzog Conte Schwimmwagen, dubbed the world's ugliest car, lived a short and uneventful life but is now an iconThe 1979 Herzog Conte Schwimmwagen, dubbed the world's ugliest car, lived a short and uneventful life but is now an iconThe 1979 Herzog Conte Schwimmwagen, dubbed the world's ugliest car, lived a short and uneventful life but is now an iconThe 1979 Herzog Conte Schwimmwagen, dubbed the world's ugliest car, lived a short and uneventful life but is now an iconThe 1979 Herzog Conte Schwimmwagen, dubbed the world's ugliest car, lived a short and uneventful life but is now an iconThe 1979 Herzog Conte Schwimmwagen, dubbed the world's ugliest car, lived a short and uneventful life but is now an iconThe 1979 Herzog Conte Schwimmwagen, dubbed the world's ugliest car, lived a short and uneventful life but is now an iconThe 1979 Herzog Conte Schwimmwagen, dubbed the world's ugliest car, lived a short and uneventful life but is now an iconThe 1979 Herzog Conte Schwimmwagen, dubbed the world's ugliest car, lived a short and uneventful life but is now an iconThe 1979 Herzog Conte Schwimmwagen, dubbed the world's ugliest car, lived a short and uneventful life but is now an iconThe 1979 Herzog Conte Schwimmwagen, dubbed the world's ugliest car, lived a short and uneventful life but is now an iconThe 1979 Herzog Conte Schwimmwagen, dubbed the world's ugliest car, lived a short and uneventful life but is now an icon
The Herzog Conte, or the Herzog Conte Schwimmwagen by its full name, is an amphibious car that was introduced in 1979, went into production that same year, and went out not with a bang but a whimper just one year later. Its timing coincided with an ever-growing fascination for amphibious vehicles, sadly one that was rather one-directional. Car companies believed amphibians were the future; regular Joes, not so much. Or, if they did too, they couldn't afford them.

Today, the 1979 Herzog Conte is a sort of Internet legend. Like that oh-so-very-ugly Christmas sweater you keep on the bottom shelf or a porcelain figurine you have from a dear departed one, which you hated when you got it but have since grown to love, its ugliness turned it into a star. The Conte is an underdog that has been subverting beauty standards from within, quietly and insidiously, by simply existing: a car so proud in its ugliness and so strangely designed that the more you look at it, the more it tends to win you over.

Throughout history, we've seen that amphibious cars can only be mildly ugly at their very best. Because they have to integrate dual drives and a waterproof lower part, they look exactly like what they are: half boat and half car. Or, better said, they look like a boat with a car on top, a random stacking of unlike parts that are made to work because they have to. Just like the Conte.

The 1979 Herzog Conte Schwimmwagen, dubbed the world's ugliest car, lived a short and uneventful life but is now an icon
Photo: Herzog brochure
Introduced as the family vacation vehicle offering complete freedom on land and on the water, the Conte was based on an Mk I Ford Granada and was offered with two engine variants, both on gas. You could get a 2.3 or a 2.8-liter V6 engine with 114 or 135 hp, respectively, but you could also get it as a hardtop or a soft top model (Model 2-3 and Model 2-8).

All parts were original Ford, and Herzog promised servicing and maintenance would be carried out at Ford dealers. The only brochures that have survived online note that, besides the standard spec, you could add some optionals, like an AC system.

Weighing 2,340 kg (5,159 lbs), the Conte has a waterproof steel hull and aluminum upper part. It was offered in three color choices: red and white, green and white, and brown and white. To prevent water ingress, the exhaust came out high on the tailgate, right next to the spare tire. For the same reason, cooling of the engine was done through two side vents that added to the impression that the car had been built by stacking at least a couple of two different vehicles.

The 1979 Herzog Conte Schwimmwagen, dubbed the world's ugliest car, lived a short and uneventful life but is now an icon
Photo: Herzog brochure
Still, the Conte promised a top speed on land of 140 kph (87 mph), seating for five people, including the two front seats that reclined and featured adjustable headrests for maximum comfort. The interior was "modern," with a sound-absorbing cabin and a new heating and ventilating system with three-stage blower. If you wanted to splurge, you could add an AC system too.

Of course, the best part of all was the ability to drive right to the edge of a body of water, be it a lake, river, or even the sea, and then into it. "For the Conte amphibious car, there are no borders at rivers, seas, or coasts," the brochure said, promising that Conte could keep on keepin' on even in strong currents.

In water mode, it relied on twin propellers engaged via a power-takeoff shaft, but there's no mention of how fast it could go. If we've learned anything from more successful similar builds that actually lasted more than a couple of years on the market (Amphicar, here's looking at you), the Conte wasn't particularly fast or impressive on the water. But it didn't sink, so there's always that.

Even though recent years have earned the Conte dubiously prestigious monikers like "world’s ugliest car," "oddest vehicle," or the "most dynamically compromised" vehicle to have emerged from Germany, there's really not much of a trace left about it.

The 1979 Herzog Conte Schwimmwagen, dubbed the world's ugliest car, lived a short and uneventful life but is now an icon
Photo: Herzog brochure
Some reports claim only one prototype was built, while others say several units rolled off the assembly line. The latter is more probable if only evidenced by the surviving brochure that shows three different colored cars in both hardtop and soft top configuration. Either way, the consensus is that the Conte lived such a short and seemingly uneventful life because demand was too low, which means one of two things: either it was priced too high because of its dual mode of transport, which was common with amphibians, or people saw it as ugly even back then.

But this was the late '70s, so we reckon it was pricing that stifled demand, not the odd styling.
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About the author: Elena Gorgan
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Elena has been writing for a living since 2006 and, as a journalist, she has put her double major in English and Spanish to good use. She covers automotive and mobility topics like cars and bicycles, and she always knows the shows worth watching on Netflix and friends.
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