How To Keep Cognitive Dissonance From Ruining Your Daily Driver

For full journalistic disclosure, I don’t drink or smoke because my addiction is buying abused GM cars and trucks to find them a loving home. Along the way, I have curated a small fleet of interesting models with their own quirks and issues. Every GM product older than a year or two will develop the most annoying issues you can imagine, and you can’t let them steal your happiness. Therefore, I have compiled the common issues that can wreck your concentration.

A person much wiser than I once said, “A GM product will run poorly longer than most cars will run at all.” It is this notion that causes enthusiasts to overlook or trivialize the other issues with their ride. Starting where you spend the most time, the interior requires the most creativity. Staying warm this time of year is critical but installing a new heater core involves removing the interior.

Such is the case with my 05 Avalanche and 02 Camaro. It would take the better part of the weekend to fix each one, so a great alternative is to loop the heater lines. Pull back the carpet under your feet and remove the insulation to allow the exhaust warmth to keep your toes toasty.

This prompts us to use the seat heaters, but they fail on every GM once the warranty expires. Electrical gremlins require patience, so it’s time to study the Factory Service Manual (FSM). A power probe and a ohmmeter will find the open circuit, so fold back the seat cover and solder in a splice.

Moving outside, why are my headlights so foggy? One of the major downsides to being a #FloridaMan is the torrent of sunlight. It cooks every piece of exterior trim, turning the Avalanche’s body cladding into a grey mess and making headlights opaque. Believe it or not, mineral spirits will renew the headlights while peanut butter will shine the cladding. Yes, creamy peanut butter (not crunchy) is the best way to shine GM’s cheap plastic body trim.

Don’t let annoying sounds get you down. Interior rattles can be exposed with audio, so start with a bass test track and work your way up into the midrange. The soundtrack to Interstellar works great at finding several broken clips for the door panels while testing the glue that’s holding the dash together. Rattles under the car will sing when provoked by a rubber hammer.

If you don’t use it, you will lose it. This mantra applies to many aspects of life, especially to ABS on any older GM product. That glowing light on the dash is a reminder that your ABS solenoids are frozen because they failed to respond. Thankfully, Bosch designed the module with two halves. Removing the electronics, you can use a hammer and punch to break the pistons free. If you can’t reach the EBCM, make a 12-volt harness for each solenoid and use a hot wire from the battery to get them moving. Your reward will be hearing the brake pad slam the rotor.

Finally, the electronics used to operate many systems are housed in modules. The seats, HVAC, accessory power, and security are all run by fragile hardware that will eventually burn out. This is where a bit of programming helps. Instead of loafing through junkyards hoping to find a working module, the best solution is to make one.

An Arduino kit is your ticket to build a microcontroller to replace each module. Therefore, my New Year’s resolution is to build new Body Control Modules for the Camaro and the Avalanche while adding a few unique features at the same time. Don’t let annoying issues steal your Christmas smiles, stay with us for all your automotive insights!