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Goth House With Matching 3-Car Garage Is as Black as a Villain’s Heart, Perfect

Don’t you love it when a villain spends a large chunk of the film’s third act explaining himself to the good guy before destroying the world or, at the very least, killing said good guy? The scene is almost always set in the villain’s lair, so if you ever want to replicate it, here’s a solid window of opportunity.
Goth house in Illinois is perfect for a modern-day villain, has matching garage 23 photos
Photo: Realtor / Seth Goodman
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It’s all-black and as black as the villain’s black heart, which may or may not be made of stone. It’s called the “Goth Illinois House” and it’s a viral star after it was posted to Instagram following its listing on Zillow. As luck would have it, it’s also perfect for a car guy-kind of villain, since it comes with a matching 3+-vehicle garage.

“Goth Illinois House” is not the official name of the property, though it is a most fitting one. Located in Lincoln, Illinois, the 1993 build is a recently-renovated house owned by realtor Seth Goodman. He bought it for $75,000 a while back, attracted by the house’s octagonal shape and it became all-black by accident, more or less.

By “all-black” you’re to understand just that: the house is black on the outside and inside. It will probably be a pain to keep clean (just picture a fluffy white kitten or a white puppy in those somber interiors, and you’ll get the idea), but it is most definitely a striking piece of real estate. The fact that it has a matching garage is like the cherry on the proverbial (black) cake.

Goth house in Illinois is perfect for a modern\-day villain, has matching garage
Photo: Realtor / Seth Goodman
Offering a total of 1,574 square feet (146 square meters) of total living space, spread across two stories, the house has only two beds and two bathrooms. It’s not an ideal family home in this sense, so it would be best if your villainous plans don’t include an equally evil spouse and kids. The exterior is entirely black, with the theme continued inside, with black everything, made to pop by contrasting white and gray.

Despite the somber theme, the interior is actually quite cozy, thanks to the play of light and darkness, and the mixture of contrasting fabrics. It’s also littered with motivational phrases, from “Live a good life” to “Today is a good day to be a good day,” “Be kind,” “The world is yours” and… “Don’t fart” in the bathroom. Ok, unlike with the black scheme, this does feel like overkill. Luckily, framed photos can be removed.

Goodman says that no room in the house is square, and you can tell this much from the photos. There’s an open living and dining space with a fireplace, a laundry room, a fully-equipped though rather narrow kitchen, a master bathroom with walk-in tiled shower, and a secondary guest bath upstairs. The second story is actually a loft area, spacious and airy, and made even more so by the several skylights. The house also has three separate decks that can be used as entertaining outdoor areas and a firepit.

Over $160,000 went into remodel, which started with replacing the siding and gutters, and ended with Goodman realizing he should continue with the black color scheme inside. Even the kitchen is black, with appliances that are probably fingerprint-magnets but admittedly make for a striking visual. “Sleek, sexy, and undeniably unique” and with a certain aura of mystery about it, is how the listing describes the property.

Goth house in Illinois is perfect for a modern\-day villain, has matching garage
Photo: Realtor / Seth Goodman
And it is just that. As noted above, even the detached garage is made to match, though the listing – sadly – fails to offer a look at the interior. Given the attention to detail inside the home, it’s probably safe to assume the garage also has a black interior. Even your daily can feel like a proper villainous vehicle, if you want to and can afford it.

Speaking of which, the listing has this goth house at $250,000. Can you put a price on the perfect villain’s lair? Clearly, you can.

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About the author: Elena Gorgan
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Elena has been writing for a living since 2006 and, as a journalist, she has put her double major in English and Spanish to good use. She covers automotive and mobility topics like cars and bicycles, and she always knows the shows worth watching on Netflix and friends.
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