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France! Liberté, égalité and a whole lot of communism

I never was what you would call a “fan” of the French. They’re simply annoying. They’ve got this unbelievable tendency of being backwards compared to the rest of the world, they’re lead by a president whose ego is further augmented by his short stature-derived insecurity, they keep inventing uncanny words when the right thing to do is to use the original, already-standard and widely used English word, they’re presumptuous, more often than not snappy, mischievous, pretty dumb if you check out some history books, kind of barbaric if you think of guillotines and times when the streets of Paris ran red and the pyres burned without respite and finally, they’re so very, very proud that a broke engineer made a giant stake out of wrought iron initially headed for the dump that they turned it into a great national symbol.

Mind you, I’m not talking about regular Frenchmen, the kind you meet on the streets. I mean their elected leadership, people which, through a process that escapes me completely, are ever more masculine and possessing of very strong personalities.

In the wake of the huge scandal sparked by the French Football Federation info leak, a just reaction if you ask me – I find it rather odd to say that “there are too many blacks in the national team” and come up with a D-day for “thinning their ranks” even though your country has several colonies in existence, after the idiotic ruling that outlawed wearing or displaying religious symbols in public (does wearing wear a cross necklace get you arrested?) and many, many other stupid laws carelessly tossed around by French legislators, the people must get ready for something even more outrageous.

Soon, speeding may get you imprisoned if you go above the legally established limit by 30 mph or more. Don’t fret though, you won’t stay there for too long, just 3 months, to give you enough time to think about the “generous” fine and the penalty points you got as a bonus. To make things go as smoothly as possible, it was decided to ban radar detectors and implement crippling fines for people who sell them (plus jail time, naturally). So you can get scanned anytime by the Police but your right to be informed about it is denied, because you’re just an insignificant fool. Luckily, the government knows what’s best for you. Smart thinking, right?

As if all this wasn’t already more than enough, these guys didn’t see it necessary to display radar warnings anymore either, so all the associated traffic signs who helped temper the unlucky drivers who happened across a monitored area will likely disappear.

What can I say, those signs probably had another, more detrimental, effect upon tax collection, hence the brutal “solution”. The officially stated purpose? To cut down on accidents. The final purpose? Giving a solid fine to any unsuspecting bloke who dares drive his car around France... because trust me, it’s just a matter of time until you make a mistake and... you’ll have a criminal record! France will probably become the country with the highest level of crime and people convicted to spend time in jail and have some of their social rights suspended for a time.

The actual purpose? Enforcing a regime of terror, to keep people in a constant state of insecurity, to bring back to flock any individual who “strays” too far away or is sufficiently distracted, jumpy or even happy out of his mind to push the pedal a bit “too much to the metal”.

I find it really hard to believe such a man exists who has (or will) never involuntarily broken the “legally established speed limit” involuntarily, especially inside areas with dumb limitations such as 18 mph or deserted “settlements” where you won’t see a human face on the streets for miles but you’re forced to stay below 30 mph.

But still, the logical question to ask is: why are 200 mph cars sold if driving speeds are limited to 30-50 mph?!? I’ve recently tested a Laguna Coupe, an extremely nice car limited to 130 mph. It’s a French car, sold by Renault, a vehicle that simply lures you into breaking the speed limit set by God knows what official who hates cars and would rather see everyone ride the bus...

So what are we going to do with the Laguna? Why would we buy a car that’s “unsafe” because it encourages drivers to “break the law”? Should we sue Renault if we end up in jail?

Well, I wouldn’t be surprised at all if an all-new regulation is being prepared right now, to block automakers from selling cars who are able to go above 70 mph on French roads. That’s probably the “final solution”.

A full-on and complete restriction, an in-depth equalization, an outright flattening in the purest communist spirit, one who still looms over France and the entire EU alike. A place that makes you want to leave for good, more and more every day...


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