Flat Earth Manned Space Mission on Hold Until State of California Is in Jail

Only if we could get them started. Because, you know, to prove our point we need to get up there and unravel the lie. We'll come back with pictures, and perhaps even a piece of the string that attaches our flat world to the ceiling of the Universe.

Our most recent attempt took place last weekend. Before that evil, plotting Elon Musk sent his car into space to avoid it being identified as part of a crime of some sorts. Unfortunately, our esteemed colleague Mad Mike Hughes (he's not mad, he just likes to be called that) failed to send himself into space. For now.

As you might know, he was trying to get his homemade space rocket to lift off from the Mojave Desert, where the beautiful flat city of Amboy is located. Two times he tried that last weekend, only to be stopped by the perpetrators of the continuous Earth-is-round lie.

First, he was told by the Bureau of Land Management he cannot fly over public lands. He aborted the launch and now plans to sue the entire state of California: the Governor, the Tax Board, all the legal department for the Tax Board, and the attorney general, and senator Kamala Harris. His promise to us is that they would all be in prison by the end of the year.

Then, on his second attempt, a malfunction prevented him from taking off at 500 mph and revealing the truth for the benefit of all mankind. More precisely, an apparent O-ring failed. We have a theory that the O-ring itself is actually a square-ring, but that's another story.

Thankfully, the Washington Post is the only news outlet that covered our entire ordeal. We'll be back with updates, and proof, as soon as we get them.