Five Reasons the Ferrari 330 GT 2+2 Is Better than Santa’s Sleigh

President Barack Obama has famously said that the US military’s C-130 transport aircraft is “a little more efficient than Santa’s sleigh” in a speech at the Joint Base McGuire-Dix-Lakehurst in New Jersey. But then again, Santa Claus’ sleigh happens to be a machine that delivers joy to the world, not military troops, medivac and the obligatory death-bringing cargo.

From a pilot’s perspective, the C-130 may be a fun thing to fly. The undersigned believes that Santa’s means of transportation is even better than Lockheed’s aircraft because, hey, reindeer with red noses happen to be extremely cool. However, I have a confession to make - the Ferrari 330 GT 2+2 from the 1960s is an even cooler machine than Santa’s sleigh. Let me explain why through five arguments.

# The fun factor

Sorry to break it to you like this, but Santa’s sleigh is one of the most boring things you could ride in. If you could ride in it, that is. The single-seater sleigh makes do without in-flight entertainment such as a thumpin’ great stereo, as well as no seats for your friends. From this editor’s point of view, the only fun Santa could have in his sleigh is to play a game of hide and seek with Rudolph. But there’s a problem with that too - the only place Santa or Rudolph can hide is in the transdimensional present compartment, also known as the gift bag. As far as the vintage Ferrari is concerned, the 330 GT 2+2 can accommodate two adults plus two adults that can master the Lotus position. In terms of fun factor, the starting point comes in the guise of a Becker Mexico stereo. A nice chat with your friends aboard the Ferrari is another plus point for the car.

# The noise

Some say that Rudolph and his buddies aren’t exactly the most elegant means of propulsion. Other say that the reindeer squad is there only for show because Santa’s sleigh is powered by a stardust antimatter propulsion unit. While Santa may be way ahead of the game as far as going fast is concerned, nothing beats the 60-degree OHV 3,967 cc aluminum V12 engine designed by Gioacchino Colombo in terms of aural pleasure. Even though the Colombo V12 was the primary motivator for Ferrari models through the 1950s and 1960s, nothing beats the howl of a 330 Series mill. Few motors can compete with the distinctive high-pitched chord produced by the Colombo V12. Santa’s sleigh can’t possibly hold a candle to a 330’s sonority.

# The looks

With a body made from wood and two runners, Father Christmas’ sleigh is just a tool. A utensil developed with the sole purpose to deliver gifts to the good boys and girls all around the world and nothing more. Even the plain old pickup truck is more alluring to the eye than a sleigh. In comparison with Santa’s only means of transportation, the Ferrari 330 GT 2+2 is among the best examples of art on four wheels. The dual-headlamp front fascia with the wide grille, knock-off Borrani wire wheels, and beautifully proportioned body shell are bite-the-back-of-your-hand pretty, while the interior is classically magnificent. These particularities do not apply to the slab-sided sleigh used by the fat guy with the white beard who lives at the North Pole.

# The cost of ownership

Magical reindeer and stardust antimatter propulsion don't come cheap. Furthermore, Santa’s sleigh travels hundreds of thousands if not millions of miles every year for one night only. As anticipated, servicing is a pain in the butt for Santa’s elves, a rather expensive one at that. And then again, how much does a magical reindeer or stardust antimatter propulsion unit cost? There are plenty more variables that are almost impossible to comprehend by us mortals, yet one thing is certain: it’s cheaper to own a Ferrari 330 GT 2+2. Every now and then, you need to fill the tank with dinosaur juice, change the oil and brake pads, adjust the carburetors, and so on. The only costly operations are acquiring the Maranello-born Prancing Horse in the first place and restoring it every decade or so. At the end of the day, owning a 330 GT 2+2 is cheaper.

# You don’t have to dress funny to drive a Ferrari 330 GT 2+2

Last, but certainly not least, piloting Santa’s sleigh comes at a price - the red and white dress code plus the obligatory headpiece and white beard. Driving a Ferrari 330 GT 2+2 is more forgiving because you can wear anything you want. Of course, shorts and a wifebeater are not recommended, but a pair of jeans, a plain old T-shirt, and a pair of sneakers are good enough for anyone to look the part in the Ferrari 330 GT 2+2.

P.S.: If you’re interested in the red-painted 330 GT 2+2 featured in the photo gallery below, this one-of-625 Series I examples of the breed is heading to auction in January. Check out RM Sotheby’s listing for more information on this desirable grand tourer with Pininfarina styling and a blue-blooded V12 engine.

Editor's note: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all petrolheads reading this sidesplitting story.