However, over the years, I’ve learned that you humans are not too open to communicating with other forms of intelligent life, so I have to use special pathways in order to share my experiences with you. This can be pretty consuming, you know? I don’t even know how to introduce myself: I am not one of you, yet I am neither an extraterrestrial, nor an intraterrestrial. Fortunately, my life was changed forever a few days ago, when I met the autoevolution test drive crew, which I now belong to. Let me tell you how this happened.
It all started with a red dot, this was all I could see at first. Then, as it approached and increased in size, I started vibrating from the sound waves emitted by it. I instantly realized that I was dealing with a Prancing Horse, so I owed it to myself to have a go at reviewing it.
As I was approaching the car (actually it was the other way around) I aimed for the shiny Prancing Horse on the radiator grille. Just a few fractions of a second before we made contact I swerved to the right, heading for the area directly below the headlight (I used one of the LEDs as a target). I was expecting this to be a rather bumpy ride, but encountered a sweet succession of concave and convex surfaces, with smooth transitions between them.
I guess it must have had something to do with the fact that I was traveling over the most aerodynamic Ferrari in history. I therefore salute the 0.32 Cx. I used the area just above the right taillight to leave the car and decided to have another go.
This time, I went straight into the engine. Yes, I need photosynthesis and other processes to get back into shape after such an internal combustion escapade. As I entered the combustion chamber I took some time to smell the... direct injection (this is Ferrari’s first attempt of using the technology). The intake & exhaust variable timing make the journey through the cylinder feel precise, but I have to tell you that the main thrill was the sound.
I think the unit was just a little over its 7,750 maximum power RPM when everything went “bam!” and I felt like listening to a choir of angels shredding away on heavy metal harps. You have to put such an engine on top of your list of vacation destinations. Oh wait, you humans are too large and fragile to fit inside an engine.
With my heart exploding out of joy because I was able to contribute to the production of 460 HP, I exited the vehicle using the upper left exhaust tip. Before I went looking for a tree to help me return to my initial form, I decided to have a chat with the guy behind the wheel. Long story short, I now have “autoevolution test driver” written on my business card.
Of course, I couldn’t leave without asking the guys to share their impressions on the California, especially since I was confused about the purpose of the car - it is said to be comfortable, but wouldn’t this ruin its sharpness? Here, I'll just throw in a huge quotation sign and let them start.