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Even Damien Hirst’s Houseboat Is Outrageous: Signe Maria Is “a Ralph Lauren Beach Hut”

When you’re l’enfant terrible of the art world, you have not just a reputation to live by but also the budget to allow you to do that. Damien Hirst, currently the wealthiest British artist alive, is a good example of that, but you will probably not be able to tell from his houseboat.
This is Signe Maria, Damien Hirst's custom houseboat in London 25 photos
Photo: River Homes (Composite)
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Over in the UK and in other countries with large bodies of water, houseboats are the tiny houses of dreams, and quite popular because of it. Whether motorized (barge conversions) or permanently moored, they offer the kind of stress-free existence that only downsizing can promise: away from the city but not really, out on the water but still grounded (pun intended), and more importantly, with reduced costs of living.

Chances are not a single one of these played any part in Damien Hirst’s decision to move into one such “pied-sur-mer” in the late 2000s. Back then, he and then-wife Maia Norman were advised to stop throwing away money by staying at hotels, and to get a property in London. It could be that London real estate prices were too much even for Hirst, or that his inclination towards the outrageous got the best of him, but he and Maia settled for Signe Maria, a dilapidated houseboat they planned on turning into a home.

So far, this sounds like the standard story of downsizing. Unsurprisingly, there’s nothing “standard” about it, because this is an artist we’re talking about. Hirst and Maia bought the vessel for £160,000 ($195,600, but at the current exchange rate), almost triple their most recent bill at the Metropolitan Hotel in the capital, and Maia took it upon herself to turn it into a home. Born in California, she thought the houseboat could be the closest thing to a beach she’d get in London, so she imagined it as a “Ralph Lauren beach hut,” but with a certain patina to it.

This is Signe Maria, Damien Hirst's custom houseboat in London
Photo: River Homes
The 23.4-meter (77-foot) houseboat was built by Vickins in the 1940s as a custom dock barge, but had been converted into a houseboat already. It still retained a certain industrial, rugged styling that didn’t sit well with Maia, so she got designer Mike Rundell onboard for the renovation. The final cost of the project was never disclosed to the public, but one feature in a trade publication mentions that the budget ballooned as the project evolved, adding that Maia “remained undeterred.” Of course she did, she could afford to.

At the end, Signe Maria became Maia’s dream home: spacious to fit living areas across both decks, it offered two bedrooms with ensuite bathrooms, a large and cozy living room, a full kitchen, and wraparound decking. Size-wise, it’s not the biggest houseboat around, far from it, but the layout and the styling create the impression of a much more generously-sized living space.

Gone is the industrial styling, now replaced with a Mediterranean-inspired design of duck-egg blue with stark white, and the occasional spot of color for contrast, mostly through art pieces. Even the dining chairs in the dining area are like pieces of art, and that’s not a phrase you’re likely to read very often.

This is Signe Maria, Damien Hirst's custom houseboat in London
Photo: River Homes
There’s underfloor heating and full insulation under the tongue-and-groove, and all the comforts of a proper home. The main deck, which holds the kitchen and the living area, are bathed in natural light coming in from three sides: the walls and the roof, where there’s a skylight that runs the entire length of the boat.

The pieces of furniture appear built-in, but are actually modular, which adds versatility and extra functionality to each space. As impressive as the artsy pieces and the colorful, extra squashy sofas are, the highlight is the open terrace aft, which currently offers spectacular views out on the Thames, since it’s been moored at Canary Wharf all this time.

Hirst and Maia separated in 2012, and have since gone their own ways. It’s hard to tell who got the houseboat or, for that matter, how much time they actually ended up spending in it, but it’s now on the specialized market. And – get this – it’s asking half than it sold for so many years ago, before the artsy and no doubt very expensive remodel: £80,000 ($97,800).

This is Signe Maria, Damien Hirst's custom houseboat in London
Photo: River Homes
That’s still a lot of money for the average Joe and Jane, especially if you lend an ear to all those downsizers telling you you could get a houseboat for less and then do the remodel yourself to further cut down costs.

But this is a home with ties to none other than Damien Hirst, an internationally-acclaimed artist and provocateur whose works sell for eye-watering prices. It’s a solid investment, and one done with taste and plenty of personality, is what we’re saying. It sure beats buying his NFTs, if only on the consideration that you can’t live in those.
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About the author: Elena Gorgan
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Elena has been writing for a living since 2006 and, as a journalist, she has put her double major in English and Spanish to good use. She covers automotive and mobility topics like cars and bicycles, and she always knows the shows worth watching on Netflix and friends.
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