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Elon Musk Would Take on Johnny Depp in a Cage Fight If the Actor Was Up for It

OK, we know this isn't exactly top-drawer car journalism, but we felt bad laughing by ourselves - six feet apart, of course - so I figured we should share this golden nugget with you as well.
Elon Musk 6 photos
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If you still had any doubts over Elon Musk's emotional development and weren't convinced he was stuck somewhere around high school senior year at best, then this latest reaction of his will make things pretty clear. It shouldn't come as a complete surprise for those who pay close attention to his behavior and aren't emotionally over-invested in Tesla to the point where they think Musk can do no wrong, but even they might find themselves scratching their heads in disbelief.

So, what happened? Well, Johnny Depp is involved in a libel case at London's High Court trying to prove that The Sun was wrong to call him a "wife-beater." Since the wife in question was Amber Heard, the actress has also been called to testify, and she seems to have no problem with the description used for her former husband that now makes the basis for this case.

As it so often happens, the trial brought out all sorts of ugly things that shouldn't have (and wouldn't have) transpired to the public, including a text message from Depp to Heard back when the Pirates of the Caribbean actor thought his wife was having an affair with Elon Musk. "I'll show him things he's never seen before like the other side of his d** when I slice it off," Depp wrote, referring to Musk's mushy parts.

Upon hearing the news, Musk did what any senior year high school student would do: he challenged Depp to a fight. But since this is billionaire versus multi-millionaire, instead of a bare-knuckles back-of-the-gym fisticuff, the brawl imagined by Elon would take place in a cage. "If Johnny wants a cage fight, just let me know," Musk told the New York Times, before giggling like he has done so many times before on the stage.

To be completely fair to Musk, before the whole knife and penis thing was mentioned, he did advise the former high-profile couple to find a way to make peace and drop this dragging trial that can't bring anything good for any of them. “For the two of them, I would just recommend that they bury the hatchet and move on,” he said. That's some solid advice that Johnny Depp should definitely take because the trial is not doing any favors to his already fading image.

Normally, this is where this article should end, but we can't let this go just yet without talking odds. Who do you think would win? It's a tough one. Johnny Depp is definitely past his prime, and he wasn't the kind of action-movie star that gets trained in Aikido or Krav Maga while having his body buffed beyond recognition. On the other hand, they say a good fighter is also a good dancer, and we've all seen Elon Musk dance. Can there be such a thing as a draw in cage fighting? Either way, we're sure we wouldn't be the only ones willing to pay to watch it.


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