Audi S5, BMW M340i, or a Mercedes C 43 AMG: Who's Got the Best 450-HP Six-Cylinder?

James Watt gets primary credit for the widespread of this unit of measurement. We honor him today by using his name to express engine power unequivocally – in kilowatts. But the humble horsepower is the informal – and very much used – means of discriminating between piston yield.

Returning to the opening sentence of the story, imagine the following equation: 450 hp - is it more than 450 hp, or less than 450 hp? The repetition is not randomly shoved in this story, for it bears the key to opening the chest of knowledge to tell why Audi beat BMW and Mercedes.

How did we get from an English beast fable from 79 years ago to yet another episode of a fratricidal skirmish between the mutually opposing German brands? George Orwell finished writing his Animal Farm in February 1944, but the typescript was almost lost when his house in London collapsed under a V-1 German flying bomb in June of that year.

In early 2023, a triad of Saxon piston mages sent something else over the English Channel. Three representatives star in an Officially Gassed YouTube drag racing video, at a local former military airfield. The horsepower roll call credits each automobile with 450 hp (456 PS), thanks to mild tuning. But let’s meet them in detail before deciding who's worthier of the Orwell short story.

In alphabetical order to not upset any of the vast hoards of fans trailing the rear badges of the three German performance cars, the Gassed Gang from Officially Gassed invited an Audi S5, a BMW M340i xDrive, and a Mercedes C 43 AMG.

The lord of the (four) rings – the Audi S5 – has the factory-installed three-liter V6 turbo with Stage 2 tuning. As a result, the power output is 450 hp (456 PS) and a 760 Nm (561 lb-ft) score. Quattro drive, ZF eight-speed automatic, and just 1.6 tons (3,561 lbs.) of body mass index make for just as many reasons to credit the two-door coupe Audi as a favorite.

While the BMW can see the "all-wheel over eight gears" hands of the Audi, it falls short on the weigh-in. 3,748 lbs. (1.7 tons) make it slightly lower-rank on the odds meter. The twin-turbo M340i raises the xDrive and the same-caliber gearbox (also from ZF) to accompany the 450-hp (456-PS) inline-six power.

However, the three-liter M-Powerplant is outgunned in the torque battle. Stage 1 tunning only produces 650 Nm (479 lb-ft), a difference that can decisively tip the scales at the end of a 440-yard gallop.

For good measure – and political correctness, not to mention national courtesy – the third German on English airfield concrete is a Mercedes. An AMG, of course, since we are talking about the in-house-tuned variants of each of the manufacturers’ cars.

A C 43, very much similarly equipped as its counterparts – drives all four rubbers via a nine-speed AMG gearbox. It also has a three-liter, with six pistons arrayed in the “V for Vendetta” turbine-energized manner. The torque is 724 Nm (534 lb-ft). Power is identical to the two others’ ratings – 450 hp. On the other hand, it is the heaviest of the bunch, at 3,759 lbs. (1,705 kg).

Noteworthy aspect: the Bimmer and the Merc both have twice as many doors as the sliced Audi and nearly two hundred pounds (roughly 85 kg) more to carry around. It may not sound like a critical or decisive factor, but as you can see in the video, the Audi simply puts the sedan duo in its rearview mirror.

The four-ringed coupe is a definitive first among equals and wins four out of six instances - both in the roll race and the standing quarter-mile sprint. And, in all fairness, it lost those two races because of late pedal input from the driver after the start signal.

Also, driver reaction times made all the difference between the archrivals BMW and the Mercedes, which share very close similarities in their mechanical dowries. However, the M340i did put up a good fight, despite its lowly torque output. I won't be a spoiler, but I will tell you one thing: the BMW finished the quarter-mile roll race without getting past a 124-mph (200-kph) trap speed.

On the other hand, the AMG had a less-than-perfect day, coming last in five rounds and besting a second place in the last run. Maybe the unmatching pairing of Pirelli-front and Bridgestone-rear tires impacted its performance.

The overly complicated mechanical equation is far too abundant in variables to have it unfold in this story. Still, a brief conclusion could be summarized as follows: “All animals are equal, but combustion-chambers-dwelling horses are exempt from this rule.”