Pedigree of the Brands - A Different View of the Story... ...Many of us own cars which come from rather famous brands. Plenty of times, even if you hate to admit it, the badge is the main reason to look at a certain car and, in the end, it's the decisive reason in actually choosing the "perfect"model. OK, there ... Continue reading >
100+ years since the invention of the self-propelled car, three new engines battle for a place in the automotive future. Which one do you see in your car 10 years from now?
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Test Drive: VOLKSWAGEN Caddy Kombi 1.9 TDI 4Motion - 2009 - "New Cars Collection"
Sir May B. Bach's Opinion
Sometimes I feel like you guys are just... ahem... trying to pull my leg. What is this Volkswagen Caddy 4Motion... ahem... thing? All I can see is a German piece of … ahem... you know what, with a clear case of schizophrenia. Let's just digest its name for a minute. So... ahem... it's actually a “people's car” which thinks it's a pimpin' “Cadillac” and... ahem... it's built “for moving”. Are you kidding me?
On top of that, nevermind the four-cylinder under the hood, but it has a... ahem... DIESEL? A four cylinder diesel? I can't believe I'm even... ahem... talking to you about it. Just listen to that unrefined noise it makes! It sounds just like a Sachsenring Trabant 601S with... ahem... two extra cylinders. I know because I had one of those when I was young, stupid and most of all... ahem... poor. Which is exactly the opposite of what I am now. Ahem... except the “old” part.
And just look at that vomit-inducing color! Who with a reasonable IQ-estimate would... ahem... buy something like this? Yeah, it has a bigger ground-clearance and four-wheel-drive. So what? My bespoke Range Rover Supercharged can obliterate it in a... ahem... swamp. Not that I would ever take it to one, elementary.
Wait! I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. Is that a sliding door in the rear? Oh, I get it now. I'm on a hidden camera... ahem... show or something. It couldn't be otherwise. You people can't actually... ahem... disrespect me like this, right?
The car we're suppose to test drive is actually another... ahem... Volkswagen Group product, with a more... ahem... British green color, right? A Bentley, to be more precise, right? OK, where's the Brooklands? Or is it... ahem... a Continental GT Speed? A Flying Spur maybe? Anything luxurious?
I can't believe you're... ahem... doing this to me. What do you want me to say about it? It's green, but it's not British Racing Green. It's a VAG product, but it's neither a Bentley or... ahem... a Lamborghini. It only uses a third of a V12 to move it's own weight and it drinks... ahem... diesel fuel? I'm sorry guys, but you blew it again. There's no way I could ever give a positive verdict about... ahem... a car like this.
On top of that, nevermind the four-cylinder under the hood, but it has a... ahem... DIESEL? A four cylinder diesel? I can't believe I'm even... ahem... talking to you about it. Just listen to that unrefined noise it makes! It sounds just like a Sachsenring Trabant 601S with... ahem... two extra cylinders. I know because I had one of those when I was young, stupid and most of all... ahem... poor. Which is exactly the opposite of what I am now. Ahem... except the “old” part.
And just look at that vomit-inducing color! Who with a reasonable IQ-estimate would... ahem... buy something like this? Yeah, it has a bigger ground-clearance and four-wheel-drive. So what? My bespoke Range Rover Supercharged can obliterate it in a... ahem... swamp. Not that I would ever take it to one, elementary.
Wait! I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. Is that a sliding door in the rear? Oh, I get it now. I'm on a hidden camera... ahem... show or something. It couldn't be otherwise. You people can't actually... ahem... disrespect me like this, right?
The car we're suppose to test drive is actually another... ahem... Volkswagen Group product, with a more... ahem... British green color, right? A Bentley, to be more precise, right? OK, where's the Brooklands? Or is it... ahem... a Continental GT Speed? A Flying Spur maybe? Anything luxurious?
I can't believe you're... ahem... doing this to me. What do you want me to say about it? It's green, but it's not British Racing Green. It's a VAG product, but it's neither a Bentley or... ahem... a Lamborghini. It only uses a third of a V12 to move it's own weight and it drinks... ahem... diesel fuel? I'm sorry guys, but you blew it again. There's no way I could ever give a positive verdict about... ahem... a car like this.
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So who is Sir May B. Bach?
Sir Bach is the richest member of our team. Maybe even the richest man in the Northern hemisphere. Fact is, we don't even know how does he get the time to participate on our test drives, considering he's usually busy taking his two homosexual Great Danes to the stylist, filling up his personal squadron of gold-plated Gulfstreams or petting his own pack of albino chinchillas.
Apparently, he was knighted after he made a very generous contribution to the Queen's treasury. The exact amount of money is unknown, but immediately after this, the British GDP miraculously rose with almost 5%. He really enjoys luxury and the finer things in life.
Favourite quote: “Luxury ruins republics; poverty, monarchies.” - Charles De Montesquieu
Apparently, he was knighted after he made a very generous contribution to the Queen's treasury. The exact amount of money is unknown, but immediately after this, the British GDP miraculously rose with almost 5%. He really enjoys luxury and the finer things in life.
Favourite quote: “Luxury ruins republics; poverty, monarchies.” - Charles De Montesquieu
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