And I thought that Kia or Dacia were the only brands with a model line-up that I truly... ahem... despises. Toyota has jumped a few places on my "brands that I hate" list. After all this recall madness you're making me drive a car that can... ahem... actually kill me? And in a number of ways as well!
Let me see. First of all, the brakes might fail to work and I could die a horrible... ahem... death in a ball of fire and twisted metal. And I don't even like rock music. Second of all, did you know that the Prius packs a battery with... ahem... 650 Volts of alternating current? I could probably be meat loaf in a matter of seconds if that thing electrocutes... me... while trying to climb in or something.
Third of all, and probably the worst type of "death by Prius" would be me dying of shame for being seen at the wheel of such a crappy car. I mean, come on guys, driving a Prius is now similar to being an active hippie member of... ahem... Greenpeace. Everyone thinks you're a loser!
Why would I ever want to drive a car that was made by people who despise cars? I love cars! Well... some of them I do. Just look at that profile! It looks like a squashed... ahem... turd. It drives like one as well. It's like Toyota's hybrid engineers were going for the world record in creating the world's most boring to drive car.
And what is up with that recycled interior and plastic made out of plants? Do I look like a person which... ahem... recycles? I'm the kind of guy who smokes by taking a hand-rolled cigarette out of the pack, throwing the pack away, lighting the cigarette, throwing the platinum lighter away, having a single smoke and then throwing the cigarette as well. Yes, I'm a big... ahem... spender.
Now, let's say that I get over the fact that the Prius can... ahem... kill me in three different ways. How would I ever live with myself knowing that I drive a car that uses recycled parts? And there might not even be automotive parts... ahem... also. I mean, the plastic on your Prius steering wheel might have come from a used toilet seat, can you imagine that?