Ahem... I don't know why you people keep pestering me with these practical... ahem... vehicles. I don't need a gargantuan trunk to fit my golf clubs. Plus, you should have already known that I enjoy luxury in every sense, but especially car luxury... ahem... it is very important to me, understand? Just the thought that you would bring me a Japanese car to drive, since everybody knows that luxury on four wheels resides in Great Britain, is... ahem... simply preposterous!
Pardon me, it doesn't even have real leather? Huh huh huh... ahem... the audio system can play tapes? Huh huh huh... huh... I simply cannot believe you people. Does it also play vinyls? That would be a nice addition. I cannot find a single reason for me to spend more than a minute around this car... ahem... I was expecting something hand made. I hear that the Japanese are hard-working people, so why in God's name do they use so many robots to build their cars?
Everything has to be precise with this car, like it was German or something... ahem... but even the Krauts make mistakes, just like the Japanese. So... ahem... where is the advantage of letting a machine build your product if sometimes it looks worse than the hand-made version? I think the only area that is somewhat appealing to me about this Subaru is the fuel consumption. Very similar to my 1992 Bentley... ahem... I like that since I don't believe in sustainability and some of my best clothes and furniture are made from animal skin.
On the whole, the fact that it's Japanese, it's too practical and it doesn't use real leather on the seats really burst my... ahem... bubble about it. I wouldn't buy a farming Subaru like this even if it would prolong my life with another year. It's way too cheap for my exquisite tastes in automobiles.