Ha ha ha! What is this, we're testing lawnmowers now? You can't even imagine how hard my stomach ached after I saw this... ahem... thing in my platinum-paved driveway. I first thought it was a meter maid who had been following my... ahem... KITT-replica made out of a Rolls-Royce Phantom. The damn thing is so big, so I thought... ahem... I had parked it over some poor bastard's Fiat 500 or something and they were coming to give me a ticket.
Then I looked closer and I realized I had seen this type of car vehicle before.... ahem... in my nephew's bedroom, so I went looking to remind him he shouldn't leave his toys on the driveway. He obviously denied possessing such a poorly manufactured... ahem... toy car, since his own are all bespoke.
Grumpy as hell from such news, I proceeded... ahem... to drive the tiny devil's spawn. Unfortunately, I don't use to carry a brown paper bag with me to put over my... ahem... head just for such occasions. The way everybody was looking at me convinced me from the start. This is NOT a car for a big shot like myself to be seen in. I bet everyone thought... ahem... I had went bankrupt or something for driving only a half of car.
Never in my life have I been so... ahem... humiliated like this! I beg of you, never bring another similar vehicle for me to drive ever again! I swear, I will pull out from the collaboration with you guys if this will repeat in the future. Oh, the humanity!
It had a three cylinder engine. THREE cylinders! Can you imagine the pain? I still haven't recovered from all that... ahem... lack of oomph. I never tested it, but my gardener Adebamgbe's custom made lawnmower is surely... ahem... at least twice as fast as this car. And the way it shifted gears... ugh! They take longer than my... ahem... crystal-based nail polish lacquer to dry off. I don't ever want to repeat this horrifying experience.