Have you guys ever paid any attention to how the... ahem... Germans spell "Opel"? I think it's so funny it makes albino people tan... Umm, yeah, I know. I've been told I have an odd sense of humor before. It's probably from my German genes, which I got from my father's second grandmother. In the case I'm not exactly... ahem... specific enough about this, my great-grandfather was a regular tomcat, and his second wife was a Fräulein from Tauberbischofsheimstadt, in the south of Germany.
Anyway, back to the Opel Insignia now. To tell you the truth, I like the way it looks. It reminds me of a Jaguar... ahem... for some reason. It's long, curvy and has a rather low "coupe-ish" roofline. In other words, it's the kind of car for which you have to take off your hat before entering. And that's not because you respect it too much, it's just that you wouldn't fit in it otherwise. Just like in an old Jaguar XJ series, hence my aforementioned... ahem... anecdotal remark.
Too bad the car itself is an absolute disaster on wheels when it comes to offering what a Jaguar wannabe should. Apart from the headroom inconvenience in the rear, caused by the low slung roof and the general... ahem... proportions of the car, it has nothing in common with a Jaguar.
I mean, come on, it has four-wheel drive, orthopedic seats, the electronics actually work and the luggage... ahem... compartment is truly gigantic. So, a bag of nothing in common with a Jag. Why does it look like one from the side (and the distance, ed) then? In my not so humble... ahem... opinion, this is another case of "automotive envy gone bad". Exactly like when Citroen designed the current C5 to look like an Audi/BMW crossbreed from hell, you know?
Opel's head honchos wanted so bad to escape from under... ahem...Volkswagen's shadow so they tried to move the brand more upmarket. The first thing they do? Change the model line-up's design language so that it "looks" more premium. How premium, you ask? Well... apparently Jaguar-premium.
On a different note, the Insignia has some other downsides as well. First of all, the engine drinks like a race horse but the car... ahem... goes like a donkey. Second of all, it has an Opel badge. I guess this pretty much covers everything there is to be said about it, don't you think? As my compatriot, Billy Shakespeare used to say, "all's well, that ends well."